I had to explain to my father before moving here that it was
to some extent because Owen was here. However it wasn't for the boy. It was for
the experience the boy would give me. Owen is my friend he is a good man and a
stand up guy. I can say pretty confidently that he would take a bullet for me. I
came here knowing I would be falling for that kind of guy. For him. I was OK
with that. Even if I had my heart broken. I wanted to know what it feels like
to fall in love with a man who treats me with respect and kindness. Someone who treats me like a
Queen when I am around him. Someone who genuinely cares about who I am and what
I am about. He knows me pretty much inside and out. We tried it out. It didn't work.
We broke up last night. It hurt really badly. I didn't want to let him leave. I
held on to him like my life depended on it. I begged him not to leave. He was
finally able to get out of my arms and as he left I couldn't look him in the
face. There are many reasons we decided it was best that we break up. I don’t regret
being with him. I am so glad we were together. He gave me hope in men. He also
opened my heart and mind to faith. I am going to be a regular church goer.
Going somewhere, that surrounds me with good hearted people is a perfect place
to be. I am going to start volunteering at a soup kitchen. I will never take
for granted what he gave to me. I love him. I will continue to love him. I know
he will also continue to love me. I trust that if it is meant to be we would be
together still. If God saw us together we would still be together. God has a
different magnificent plan for me. I am living it right now and this was all
part of it. I will figure this out and God will watch me as I do and help me
along the way. However, it still hurts. Only time will take that away. Its okay.
Owen was a key part of my life and will continue to be in the present and
future. So, yes in part I moved here for him. But, it wasn't for the boy it was
for the experience the boy would give me. Right now, even a day after its over,
I feel so grateful to have had that kind of deep relationship with someone so
kind to me. I love him, but I love what he gave me even more. So thank you.
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