It is June 6th, 2012. I have officially been a part of the alumni community of Cornell University for 9 days. This means on May 27th I graduated from college. This officially ended the only life I have ever known. (School). Ever since the age of three I have been going to school. In middle school the goal was to go to a good high school. In high school the goal was to go to a good college and in college the goal was to... pass... and perhaps figure out my life. Well I can officially say I passed. I am a graduate of the School of Hotel Administration at Cornell University. However the figuring out my life part... not so much.
The life I have known the past four years: study... a lot!, eat, work, run, drink alcoholic beverages (moderately, most of the time), eat more, sleep (very little). College is supposed to get you ready for the real world, but in all reality Cornell was a bubble. Although I did not have my parents right there, I still had people looking after me very closely. The school had an orientation so we could meet our closest friends and they had advisers telling us what to do every step of the way. They had job fairs every year to help us get an internship for the summer. They had social events and doctors right on campus, and dining halls where we could eat all we wanted. Cornell and NY in general was a place where I had made many different homes away from my home in CA. And now they have officially dubbed me ready to go out on my own and figure out how I will turn my passion into a living. They have set me loose to make new friends without the orientation, and get my own apartment with my own food. The four years in college have made me a little less socially awkward, a little more confident in what I want to do, and has given me a tool to discover a good road to take. So why do I feel somewhat overwhelmed in this scenario?
I am going to San Francisco this weekend to start a full time job at least until pastry school starts, and then I will have to find a different full time job to support myself through school and then I will find perhaps a different job. My parents talked to me about how I was going to get up to San Fran (or should I say "The City"). They were making it a burden for themselves. I finally stood up and said I will get up there you both do not have to worry. I will pay and figure out the public transpo. Then I went on this rant about how I am 22 years old and an adult. I need to figure these things out on my own. After announcing this they understood and did not fight back. It made me feel liberated and scared shitless. Its official I am out of school, an adult, and supporting myself. I have to find my own apartment, and meet my own friends and finance... my life. No more parents paying for my life. Its all me now. No more college nights with my girlies going from bar to bar in a safe neighborhood where we could be worry free while we had a great time. No more stealing food from the dining hall to feed ourselves (never actually did this.) No more going to Scotia for Thanksgiving, and Fall Break, and Spring Break, and for months at a time in the summer. No more camp. Now its up to me, to make my life complete, with friends, and a job and a house. This home that I am in right now will always be my home, but it is time to begin the process of finding my own home. I am not saying this will happen immediately. I know I will go from apartment to apartment that I can hardly call my home, but eventually I will settle down and make a home of my own. Who knows where or when or with who (whether with a husband or just a bunch of cats ;) But now its on me.
I will always have those people that have become like family in my corner. However, its time to find new people to add to that corner.
Slightly exciting, slightly terrifying. This is literally a brand new stage of my life. This is what all of my life has been leading up to. To this point where I am let free and its time to take everything I have learned and continue to make mistakes and continue to learn. Its time to make decisions without frantically calling my parents to ask what to do. This is my time to make people proud, and to make myself proud. This is the true test.
