So this past weekend I had the wonderful opportunity to go to Munich Germany. Had no idea what to expect. because.... well i just didnt. when the plane was landing i got really excited because you looked down and all you could see was country. patchwork green and browns and then patches of pine trees and oh yeah houses sprouting up every so often. it was beautiful!!! finally the plane landed after a seven hour over night layover. which included two coffees and a muffin. and perhaps lunch but i dont remember. I ACTUALLY FINISHED A BOOK! I know amazing right!?? So as always I will highlight the trip instead of going day by day. It will stay more interesting for you that way.
FRIEND: So I went to Germany of course to see Germany but also to see a good friend. (i am gonna tell you a secret, it was more to see the friend than the other way around, but shhh dont tell anyone.) The person is remaining nameless, although most of you already know exactly who I am talking about. If you dont figure it out and then meet them! Okay so this person first of all gives the best freaking hugs ever. secondly makes me feel safe... thirdly understands.... that is all i have to say. about that. i mean i could ramble on and on about how amazing they are and how much i appreciate them in my life and such but this here would turn into a book about my friend instead of about my trip to Germany. Therefore I will resist the temptation and move on quickly. because if you havent noticed I love ranting about the amazing people in my life. you can call me optimistic its ok. haha.
FOOD: For once I was with someone who was willing to eat and eat and eat and eat without worrying about fatness. haha. it was a dream come true.
First day: sausage in a bun with mustard (love at first sight in other words), pretzel, with beer, Tons of Indian food DELICIOUSS! and more beer.
Second Day: Custard filled pastry with Germany´s version of a cappucino (didnt use ANY sugar in that coffee), sandwhich with pork, tomato, lettuce, and cream cheese with selected herbs, beer, crispy pork, dumplings, pretzel with sweet honey that cleared your sinuses right up, beer, oh and another beer.
Third Day: Ready for this... two coffees, a piece of cheese cake with apples and raisins on top, museli and yogurt with chocolate and nuts and fruit in it, A Nutty cinnamon roll, a beer, pizza, another beer, another beer. That was the extent of it. I know it doesnt really sound like a lot of food. but it was AMAZING! i loved my culinary experience in Germany. never thought i would drink so much beer and actually enjoy it. They mixed beer with lemonade and called it Radler. it was delicious. they also mix beer with coke which i didnt really enjoy as much. it was a little bit weird. i mean dont get me wrong i drank it. i wouldnt want to let it go to waste. haha.
SIGHTS: okay so the first day I got there I was literally going on zero hours of sleep. zilcho. so i am sorry that my memory of this day is not so great. what did i see... BMW buildings.. business buildings, showcase, and perhaps factory... all i know is that the architecture was amazing. and i saw a lot of really nice cars. Germany is where BMW is att!
Saw the stadium where the olympics were held in Germany. dont remember the year. because i am retarded. but i am sure you can figure that one out. again extremely modern architecture. Saw a lot of historical buildings that were in all different styles of architecture. Gothic, Rennaissance... etc. umm an outside market and beer garden. which is an awesome idea. a beautiful park that went for miles and miles. a man made wave in a river that the Germans made so that they could surf. thought that was funny.
ALPS: We went to this smaller typical cute German town that was filled with summer homes and little store fronts and bakeries. It was amazing. Mittenwald is what it was called i do believe. There is one little thing I didnt mention. This cute little town is at the base of the Alps. and the view is like nothing I had ever seen before. you look up and all you see is snowy mountains and I wondered how some part of nature can make you feel so small. there were crosses at the tops of peaks that people had made it up to. We took a walk through the hills not the Alps. and made it to a frozen lake. yes i saw a frozen lake. it was amazing and i was so happy. with a smile ear to ear. as we walked back we found a brewery and so of course we got a beer.
LANGUAGE: did not understand a word except for halo and ya. but those are farely straight forward. i kept wanting to revert to spanish and so I kept saying hola, adios, si and lo siento. people looked at me like i was nutso. I tried pronouncing some of the words that my friend was teaching me and was speaking German witha Spanish accent. HA. oh brother!
So another trip down. It is funny how every trip is different. You cant go in without any expectations you gotta just go in and see where life takes you. just live. and live... and live some more. oh and one more thing: THANK YOU FRIEND!
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Cooking... Its what I do.
So today I had the wonderful experience of going with a friend of mine (Inez) to volunteer at a residencia (dormatory for all boys). It was parents day. We were cooking for 100 people. I thought to myself... 100 thats nothin. I got this. haha. Get this they get their clothes washed and their beds made for them. Que Suerte!! Anyhow I knew I was in for a good time right when I entered. because everyone was so nice and welcoming and not afraid to talk to me.
We went into the kitchen. I looked over and there was someone cleaning the oven ... scrubbin oh so hard! I thought to myself I feel your pain. It wasnt a griddle but it was just as greasy. Then they put me to work. You know what I realized... cooking is the same all over the world. I mean I guess you have to take that statement with a grain of salt. but it has the same basic principles. you still make stock by boiling chicken or vegetables depending on what kinds of stock you make. Even though everyone there spoke spanish I felt like I was comfortable. Because all I had to do was cook. I can cook. Its something I can do. Every so often people would talk to me asking me questions and I would answer back and giggle. My phrase of the day was "INTIENDO!" (I understand!)
Its funny that i am going to say this. But kitchen people get me. they just do. HAHA. It is seriously where I belong. I immediately felt like I belonged with this group of girls. It was amazing. I even almost did my laugh. YUP one day and my laugh almost came out. That would have freaked them out i am pretty sure so I suppressed it. haha. I did laugh a lot though. And I fit in. And they invited me back. I spoke a lot of spanish. and did business with the boss. and wore a uniform. And loved the girls. It was great. And i am going back every weekend. so i am stoked. I have no deep thoughts to share. but i did want to share the excitement. If I was saying Noahs name it would go a little bit like this: NOOOOAAAAAHHHHHH!!! so many freakin feelings. i am just so happy! hahahahah. oh life. it throws stuff at you doesnt it! gotta stay calm though so my stomach doesnt get upset. that is never fun.hahaha oh and another thing i am excited about: going to Germany to visit jack next weekend!!! he best be prepared!!! :) See this post is a little bit better than the last few i hope. even though its just me spewing out all of my excitement and not a whole lot of thoughtfulness. there will be thoughtfulness to come! I promise!! LOVE YOU ALL!
We were done with cooking finally and we went to sit and eat
We went into the kitchen. I looked over and there was someone cleaning the oven ... scrubbin oh so hard! I thought to myself I feel your pain. It wasnt a griddle but it was just as greasy. Then they put me to work. You know what I realized... cooking is the same all over the world. I mean I guess you have to take that statement with a grain of salt. but it has the same basic principles. you still make stock by boiling chicken or vegetables depending on what kinds of stock you make. Even though everyone there spoke spanish I felt like I was comfortable. Because all I had to do was cook. I can cook. Its something I can do. Every so often people would talk to me asking me questions and I would answer back and giggle. My phrase of the day was "INTIENDO!" (I understand!)
Its funny that i am going to say this. But kitchen people get me. they just do. HAHA. It is seriously where I belong. I immediately felt like I belonged with this group of girls. It was amazing. I even almost did my laugh. YUP one day and my laugh almost came out. That would have freaked them out i am pretty sure so I suppressed it. haha. I did laugh a lot though. And I fit in. And they invited me back. I spoke a lot of spanish. and did business with the boss. and wore a uniform. And loved the girls. It was great. And i am going back every weekend. so i am stoked. I have no deep thoughts to share. but i did want to share the excitement. If I was saying Noahs name it would go a little bit like this: NOOOOAAAAAHHHHHH!!! so many freakin feelings. i am just so happy! hahahahah. oh life. it throws stuff at you doesnt it! gotta stay calm though so my stomach doesnt get upset. that is never fun.hahaha oh and another thing i am excited about: going to Germany to visit jack next weekend!!! he best be prepared!!! :) See this post is a little bit better than the last few i hope. even though its just me spewing out all of my excitement and not a whole lot of thoughtfulness. there will be thoughtfulness to come! I promise!! LOVE YOU ALL!
We were done with cooking finally and we went to sit and eat
Saturday, March 19, 2011
"and then you just laugh and its all good again."
its ironic that i am writing this post at this time. well actually its already writen i am just copying down what is written in my notebook already.
Currently sitting in the gardens of the Alcazar, journalling. (you know no big deal). Except it is a very big deal. Sheesh who would have thunk it. this place would become a place to study. its just your every day normal PALACE. I have more written in my journal but i am just going to cut to the chase.
So now lets get to the heart of the matter. This may be somewhat racey. You may end up thinking I am vein. I am going to write it anyways. I am sure I will apologize later. I am 5'8" and about 140 pounds (although I havent weighed weighed myself for a while, everything seems to be fitting me pretty well.) I have long blond hair with big blue eyes that are somewhat striking. I have biggish boobs, a small waste and long ass legs. Although some of these things are personally very annoying (ex: big boobs for a runner not convenient.) they would be considered attractive. I dont wear tons of make up. in fact I rarely wear any, my legs are NOT shaven every three days and my eyebrows do whatever the fuck they want to do. 145 pounds may seem like a lot but I think I am thin with toned arms and legs and a stomach (sometimes). I think I am physically attractive. and so do the spanish construction workers who stop whatever they are doing to hoot and hollar and rate me. "Diez, Diez, Diez!!" they say. Dont get me wrong I dont sit here and tell myself all of the time that I am beautiful, and neither do other people. I mean my mom and grandma do. But if they sat there and said I was butt ugly that would give me an even bigger complex I think. All of these words above are reaffirming it for myself. I AM BEAUTIFUL. This for some reason is not as fulfilling as I would have hoped. Being physically attractive is limitedly fulfilling. There are people who straighten my hair and do my make up and tell me, "Look you are so beautiful." and I think to myself, "what i wasnt before?" I know they dont mean it that way. Its the norm to wear makeup so of course I am gonna be "beautiful" with it on. You are supposed to cover up all your blemishes. (all the things that make you human.) So my blemishes make me ugly? No, they make me real. I am 20 years old and I have smile lines. Should I be ashamed and cover them up? No. I should be proud of my stupid smile lines. It means I am for the most part happy. People tell me to be more superficial. (I tend to scare people sometimes with my straightforwardness.) Shocker.
This is where this is headed. The other day one of my professors here gave me a compliment. I was in baggy jeans, and a shirt that was nothing special. My hair was not brushed... surprise, surprise. It was the day of the prelim so i was all in all A wreck. When handing the prelim in I did my normal smile giggle and Judy stops me and says, "Hannah you are particularly beautiful today.." I look at myself and she continues, " you have this glow about you. and you seem so happy." She had witnessed an encounter with me and another teacher where i was my normal and awkward and laughy self. She made a comment about it. This is a bigger compliment than someone telling me that i look like a blond Angelina Jolee. or that they want my legs. She complimented who I am. She saw a small glimpse of the real me. and thought it was beautiful. I know my body is good. I run and run and run some more. If my self esteem issues were in that department I would wear makeup or shave my legs... more. The self esteem issues occur when I start wondering. Lets face it. I am a good person. I am interesting, smart, down to earth, selfless, endearing (now i really sound vein. Oh BROTHER!) So why dont I believe this? Who would I be if I didnt apologize all of the time? IF i didnt laugh when i am anxious, embarassed, sad, and oh yeah happy? If I take away all the insecurities, I take away half of who I am. Then what? What do I fill that half up with? Who will I turn into if I suddenly like myself? vein, selfish, uncaring? who knows. Being insecure is my security blanket. its the way I comfort myself. When I apologize someone says why are you apologizing and i know that what i was doing is ok. I am upfront because I am afraid that people will notice all of my flaws so I mind as well tell them. (when in reality they wouldnt have noticed). So what do I do? How do I stay confident and believe that what i say and do and who I am is all good enough? If I stop being insecure I cant rely on people saying that its ok. I need to rely on myself to tell me that its ok. How do i do that? How the hell do I go about doing that? SHEESH. another deep thought blog entry. its ok. dont be scared... next one is Portugual. I know I already said that. but it really is this time. I am starting it right.... NOW!
Currently sitting in the gardens of the Alcazar, journalling. (you know no big deal). Except it is a very big deal. Sheesh who would have thunk it. this place would become a place to study. its just your every day normal PALACE. I have more written in my journal but i am just going to cut to the chase.
So now lets get to the heart of the matter. This may be somewhat racey. You may end up thinking I am vein. I am going to write it anyways. I am sure I will apologize later. I am 5'8" and about 140 pounds (although I havent weighed weighed myself for a while, everything seems to be fitting me pretty well.) I have long blond hair with big blue eyes that are somewhat striking. I have biggish boobs, a small waste and long ass legs. Although some of these things are personally very annoying (ex: big boobs for a runner not convenient.) they would be considered attractive. I dont wear tons of make up. in fact I rarely wear any, my legs are NOT shaven every three days and my eyebrows do whatever the fuck they want to do. 145 pounds may seem like a lot but I think I am thin with toned arms and legs and a stomach (sometimes). I think I am physically attractive. and so do the spanish construction workers who stop whatever they are doing to hoot and hollar and rate me. "Diez, Diez, Diez!!" they say. Dont get me wrong I dont sit here and tell myself all of the time that I am beautiful, and neither do other people. I mean my mom and grandma do. But if they sat there and said I was butt ugly that would give me an even bigger complex I think. All of these words above are reaffirming it for myself. I AM BEAUTIFUL. This for some reason is not as fulfilling as I would have hoped. Being physically attractive is limitedly fulfilling. There are people who straighten my hair and do my make up and tell me, "Look you are so beautiful." and I think to myself, "what i wasnt before?" I know they dont mean it that way. Its the norm to wear makeup so of course I am gonna be "beautiful" with it on. You are supposed to cover up all your blemishes. (all the things that make you human.) So my blemishes make me ugly? No, they make me real. I am 20 years old and I have smile lines. Should I be ashamed and cover them up? No. I should be proud of my stupid smile lines. It means I am for the most part happy. People tell me to be more superficial. (I tend to scare people sometimes with my straightforwardness.) Shocker.
This is where this is headed. The other day one of my professors here gave me a compliment. I was in baggy jeans, and a shirt that was nothing special. My hair was not brushed... surprise, surprise. It was the day of the prelim so i was all in all A wreck. When handing the prelim in I did my normal smile giggle and Judy stops me and says, "Hannah you are particularly beautiful today.." I look at myself and she continues, " you have this glow about you. and you seem so happy." She had witnessed an encounter with me and another teacher where i was my normal and awkward and laughy self. She made a comment about it. This is a bigger compliment than someone telling me that i look like a blond Angelina Jolee. or that they want my legs. She complimented who I am. She saw a small glimpse of the real me. and thought it was beautiful. I know my body is good. I run and run and run some more. If my self esteem issues were in that department I would wear makeup or shave my legs... more. The self esteem issues occur when I start wondering. Lets face it. I am a good person. I am interesting, smart, down to earth, selfless, endearing (now i really sound vein. Oh BROTHER!) So why dont I believe this? Who would I be if I didnt apologize all of the time? IF i didnt laugh when i am anxious, embarassed, sad, and oh yeah happy? If I take away all the insecurities, I take away half of who I am. Then what? What do I fill that half up with? Who will I turn into if I suddenly like myself? vein, selfish, uncaring? who knows. Being insecure is my security blanket. its the way I comfort myself. When I apologize someone says why are you apologizing and i know that what i was doing is ok. I am upfront because I am afraid that people will notice all of my flaws so I mind as well tell them. (when in reality they wouldnt have noticed). So what do I do? How do I stay confident and believe that what i say and do and who I am is all good enough? If I stop being insecure I cant rely on people saying that its ok. I need to rely on myself to tell me that its ok. How do i do that? How the hell do I go about doing that? SHEESH. another deep thought blog entry. its ok. dont be scared... next one is Portugual. I know I already said that. but it really is this time. I am starting it right.... NOW!
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Cheer Up Charlie :)
Everyone has their ups and downs. Some people have more intense ups and downs then others. When they are happy they are really really really happy and when they are sad... well you get the picture. I believe that these are the people that live with the most passion and vigor in their life. When they are happy they are smiling ear to ear. Feeling down (although lowsy and extremely unproductive) it is okay because it makes the happy parts so much more enjoyable.
What exactly am I trying to say? Its been a tough couple of weeks. haha. Lots of ups and downs to say the least. (Hence the lack of blog posts). I know that no one is reading this to find out about the hard times that I have here. The people reading this are looking for the great times and trips and stories that I have. Although I have many stories to tell about Portugal and stories about the funny occurances in my life in Spain, I feel it is important for me to track the realizations that I make and the epiphonies that I have.
Epiphony #1: Living for yourself when you have spent the majority of your life living for someone else whether it be a coach or a best friend is extremely difficult.
Epiphony #2: Studying is still a necessity even in Spain!!!
Epiphony#3: Being a little superficial sometimes can be extremely beneficial. (HA: lets see if that one works out)
Epiphony#4: It is amazing how running can act as therapy!
Epiphony#5: (This one is still hard to understand for me) Even when you are away from the ones that you love, they still love you!
Epiphony#6: Intercambios are amazing (my intercambio's name is Inez and she plays basketball and is getting me a volunteering position in a kitchen!) we meet twice a week and she laughs just as much as I do :)
Epiphony#7: Laughing can always make your day better even if it is not genuine (fake it till you make it)
Epiphony#8: Doggonit I am a good person and people actually like me. ;)
That is a lot of epiphonies for just a couple of weeks. I think it may be a sign that I have spent a little bit too much time in my head and not enough time enjoying Spain. That needs to change ASAP! There are purple blossoms on the trees in the park! I ran in the rain yesterday! I love my host family and my intercambio! My sister is coming to visit me here! I am gonna play basketball in less than a week! (with people who speak extremely quickly in spanish... oh boy!) My spanish is improving drastically! I understand so much! Jeeze louise writing those things down makes me think: Why the hell was I unhappy in the first place?! sheesh. life. Its a rollercoaster. you better wear a helmet! haha. (boy meets world reference, anyone know it??) Next post: Portugal. hope you are excited. I know I am.
What exactly am I trying to say? Its been a tough couple of weeks. haha. Lots of ups and downs to say the least. (Hence the lack of blog posts). I know that no one is reading this to find out about the hard times that I have here. The people reading this are looking for the great times and trips and stories that I have. Although I have many stories to tell about Portugal and stories about the funny occurances in my life in Spain, I feel it is important for me to track the realizations that I make and the epiphonies that I have.
Epiphony #1: Living for yourself when you have spent the majority of your life living for someone else whether it be a coach or a best friend is extremely difficult.
Epiphony #2: Studying is still a necessity even in Spain!!!
Epiphony#3: Being a little superficial sometimes can be extremely beneficial. (HA: lets see if that one works out)
Epiphony#4: It is amazing how running can act as therapy!
Epiphony#5: (This one is still hard to understand for me) Even when you are away from the ones that you love, they still love you!
Epiphony#6: Intercambios are amazing (my intercambio's name is Inez and she plays basketball and is getting me a volunteering position in a kitchen!) we meet twice a week and she laughs just as much as I do :)
Epiphony#7: Laughing can always make your day better even if it is not genuine (fake it till you make it)
Epiphony#8: Doggonit I am a good person and people actually like me. ;)
That is a lot of epiphonies for just a couple of weeks. I think it may be a sign that I have spent a little bit too much time in my head and not enough time enjoying Spain. That needs to change ASAP! There are purple blossoms on the trees in the park! I ran in the rain yesterday! I love my host family and my intercambio! My sister is coming to visit me here! I am gonna play basketball in less than a week! (with people who speak extremely quickly in spanish... oh boy!) My spanish is improving drastically! I understand so much! Jeeze louise writing those things down makes me think: Why the hell was I unhappy in the first place?! sheesh. life. Its a rollercoaster. you better wear a helmet! haha. (boy meets world reference, anyone know it??) Next post: Portugal. hope you are excited. I know I am.
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