I go to the hotel administration school at Cornell University.The majority of the people are looking for corporate jobs or operations jobs in huge restaurant/hotel chains or even Finance and Real Estate jobs. And for the most part they will get what they are looking for. They will be extremely successful and make lots and lots of money. Props to all of them!! I respect you all! The whole time I have been here I have been questioning whether or not I should follow that path as well. I could definitely do it. Dress in business casual to go to class in the morning. I could cut my hair put on makeup every morning and be professional with the people I see every day of my life. I could do it. The problem? I wouldnt be happy. Again props to all of those who do it every day. Props, because it is a lot of work.
This year I finally came to the realization that I dont have to be like everyone else. I may have to take some exclusion in talking about business interviews or talking about my future salary or even some "What do you mean baking and pastry school?" or "how are you going to find a job in the future?" Both good questions. the respectiv answers: i love baking, and I will figure that out when it comes time. I am in love with my dreams. I have dreamt of what I want to do with my life and fell so deeply in love with those goals that I am not going to give it up for anything else. I have the desire. I have the dedication. I have the determination. So bring it. I am going to be me. Every single day. Not going to change for one single person. I have found what I love. I love my life. I love myself. I love the people that accept me and respect me and who love me for me. I love my family. I love my dream. Those are the things that I love. And most of those things are pretty damn permanent. Once again I say: BRING IT.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Friday, October 21, 2011
What Am I Doing?
The title of this post is exactly what I have been thinking about today. I will explain: I am following my dreams and my heart. I dream, I laugh, I cry, I love, I dance, I live, and I give. I work my hardest and do my best. What else matters? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! :)
Monday, September 5, 2011
Fowler as the Past and NOT the Present
So many of my friends have been made through Fowler. So all ya all, How many of you still miss camp even though its been a good amount of time since we left. I hope most of you are saying yeah I am missing camp. In fact I miss it a lot. Because otherwise I am alone in that... and that is no good. I wonder sometimes why I miss it so damn much. I mean its not like my life at Cornell is anything horrible. I have a lot of friends, and I have a good time and I am busy. So why do I want to be at camp? So here is the answer that I came up with: Camp protects you. If you disagree with me then read on... because the logic follows.
There is a community at Fowler that is like no other community I have been involved with or have witnessed. The people there are motivated to make everyone feel welcome. I remember the first day 2010. I was with the one person I knew most the majority of staff training. Until I realized I may have to sit next to somebody else. and let me tell you my heart was racing the first day during staff training when I had to sit next to Austin. I was scared shitless, but the day that scared me more was the first day I talked to Jenna. Holy Hell I thought my heart was gonna jump out of my chest. You wanna know something; within a week of working for them they had proven to me that they weren't that scary. Along with the rest of the staff. I made friends in record time at Fowler. and then had them supporting me the entire time. You see camp is a weird place. you can be who you are and they will accept you no questions asked. I'm weird and anxious and very direct with what I say and it freaks a lot of people out. At fowler people embraced it and thought i was a lovable human being. They do it with everyone. You will be hard pressed to find someone who feels like they don't belong. You never feel alone. or insecure. or like you need to be someone else. That's it. you don't need to be anyone else. That is what I love. And people love you. for the person that you are. and you always have more than one person supporting you and never have to be alone. Never. its amazing. no matter how hard your job is, how stressed out you are. Someone will find you when you are crying and give you a hug. That is why we all miss Fowler. Because you are never alone. Although at our designated schools or jobs or homes we may have a wonderful group of friends or family and we may be busy but it doesn't cancel out those times when you need to be able to be exactly who you are and not be alone. Because lets face it with most people everyone feels as if a facade is necessary. You need to act smarter or be prettier and not appear in public until you have your make up and cute clothes on. Everyone is guilty of it. I know I am. Props to those who are not. Camp lets go of those facades. When you are there you don't have to be smarter than the next person. You don't have to compete, you work hard and you be you. That is your job there. And because of the lack of pressure to be someone you aren't it makes you feel like you are loved and never alone and it lets people focus on their job and do the best they can.
That is why we all want to go back. Because lets face it in the real world we are all competing acting like we are better than the next person. we are expected to wear make up to be pretty and to wear heels to show off our legs or make a certain amount of money. We all want a place to be us and no one more or less for that matter. We all want to be able to go hug someone when we are sad and insecure and be real about the reason we are sad and insecure. This type of place doesn't come around very often. Its a Christian camp where all the staff are supposed to take care of more than a hundred kids every week but we also take care of each other in a way so unique to the world today. That is why we all want to go back. we wont find another place like it. That is why we all want to go back there and keep it with us always. There is however a way to make it a part of who you are without making it something you want to run back to. Try this. When you feel insecure don't say I want to go back to fowler... instead say I am insecure right now but I have no reason to be because the person that I am is loved by so many. and although they are not around me now. They still love me. That is what you tell yourself. People don't stop loving you just because they are no longer visible or a regular in your life. Those people still love you when you are in the real world. So although you are not at camp your still just as loved. and just as not alone. We may be spread apart but we are all still there for each other. So when you feel alone don't. Because your not. :) I got mooshy. That's my job, because I am Hannah.
There is a community at Fowler that is like no other community I have been involved with or have witnessed. The people there are motivated to make everyone feel welcome. I remember the first day 2010. I was with the one person I knew most the majority of staff training. Until I realized I may have to sit next to somebody else. and let me tell you my heart was racing the first day during staff training when I had to sit next to Austin. I was scared shitless, but the day that scared me more was the first day I talked to Jenna. Holy Hell I thought my heart was gonna jump out of my chest. You wanna know something; within a week of working for them they had proven to me that they weren't that scary. Along with the rest of the staff. I made friends in record time at Fowler. and then had them supporting me the entire time. You see camp is a weird place. you can be who you are and they will accept you no questions asked. I'm weird and anxious and very direct with what I say and it freaks a lot of people out. At fowler people embraced it and thought i was a lovable human being. They do it with everyone. You will be hard pressed to find someone who feels like they don't belong. You never feel alone. or insecure. or like you need to be someone else. That's it. you don't need to be anyone else. That is what I love. And people love you. for the person that you are. and you always have more than one person supporting you and never have to be alone. Never. its amazing. no matter how hard your job is, how stressed out you are. Someone will find you when you are crying and give you a hug. That is why we all miss Fowler. Because you are never alone. Although at our designated schools or jobs or homes we may have a wonderful group of friends or family and we may be busy but it doesn't cancel out those times when you need to be able to be exactly who you are and not be alone. Because lets face it with most people everyone feels as if a facade is necessary. You need to act smarter or be prettier and not appear in public until you have your make up and cute clothes on. Everyone is guilty of it. I know I am. Props to those who are not. Camp lets go of those facades. When you are there you don't have to be smarter than the next person. You don't have to compete, you work hard and you be you. That is your job there. And because of the lack of pressure to be someone you aren't it makes you feel like you are loved and never alone and it lets people focus on their job and do the best they can.
That is why we all want to go back. Because lets face it in the real world we are all competing acting like we are better than the next person. we are expected to wear make up to be pretty and to wear heels to show off our legs or make a certain amount of money. We all want a place to be us and no one more or less for that matter. We all want to be able to go hug someone when we are sad and insecure and be real about the reason we are sad and insecure. This type of place doesn't come around very often. Its a Christian camp where all the staff are supposed to take care of more than a hundred kids every week but we also take care of each other in a way so unique to the world today. That is why we all want to go back. we wont find another place like it. That is why we all want to go back there and keep it with us always. There is however a way to make it a part of who you are without making it something you want to run back to. Try this. When you feel insecure don't say I want to go back to fowler... instead say I am insecure right now but I have no reason to be because the person that I am is loved by so many. and although they are not around me now. They still love me. That is what you tell yourself. People don't stop loving you just because they are no longer visible or a regular in your life. Those people still love you when you are in the real world. So although you are not at camp your still just as loved. and just as not alone. We may be spread apart but we are all still there for each other. So when you feel alone don't. Because your not. :) I got mooshy. That's my job, because I am Hannah.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
From Sevilla to Fowler
When Jenna White first asked if I would take her spot in the kitchen at Fowler Camp and Retreat Center I laughed and gave her a look of confusion. Then realized she was serious. I remember later that night talking to a close friend about it all and he said to me, "Anyone can be a leader if they are put in the position and not given a choice." Now although that was not all that convincing because even if someone is a leader it doesnt mean that they will be a good leader; it got me thinking. I dont have all that much experience as any kind of leader. Was never the president of any club, or in student politics. I was always the follower not the one setting the example to follow. I think this is the aspect that scared me the most. I can ask questions really well, but when it comes to anwering them I dont trust myself enough to say yes or no in any quick manner. This is why when I am in fact asked a question a lot of the time the person asking walks away and waits for me to get back to them. Otherwise they would watch me stand there blank faced staring away from them thinking really hard about the answer and the reason behind it. (Its not a pretty sight, especially at 6 in the morning) Why did I say yes? Especially with the pressure to make sure I didnt let anyone down (Jenna, Austin, Kent to name a few) Another aspect going against me was Cornell University. The Hotel School looked down upon working for such a small organization. They told me it would look better on my resume if I worked for a big corporation in a lower position. Let me remind you of something: I want to open a bakery/cafe. My goal in life is not to make millions by managing a big name chain. Instead I want to manage my own place. If that means being less wealthy so be it. This means I dont need big names on my resume. I need management experience. I need to take hold of the opportunities presented to me, and get ready to follow the asperations I have had since I was eight years old. If this means going against The Hotel School, again so be it. (yes this was in fact a rant)
So lets get back to the point. Why did I say yes? Because I love Jenna? Because I am way to optimistic? You want to know a secret.... I still dont know what exactly I was thinking when I said yes. Partly I wanted to keep Jenna's traditions alive. She is amazing and spent ten years of her life making a system that is just about flawless for the kitchen. People ask me if I have changed somethings, if there are new recipes etc and I say to them, "why change something that is already good?" Cant really argue with that can you? Jenna took ten years to make that kitchen what it is today. For me to start changing it in the second year being at Fowler and first year being Head Cook would be foolish. To keep JENNAS kitchen HER kitchen was one reason I took the job.Another reason was to prove to myself and I guess some others that I could actually take a position with that amount of stress and responsibility and be successful. (I feel I have proved it to myself) Someone said to me the other day (he caught me crying) "you should be proud." I looked at him and said, "I am proud, I am just stressed." That was the truth. Now saying that means I am proud of myself, of what I have done. (Thats a concept I know) People also ask me whether or not this is worth the stress and anxiety. I say, I may cry, I may scream, I may be completely worn out, but I would never want to be anywhere else. I am proving to myself that I can do a job like this. It will be stressful. There are days when I dont want to get out of bed, when I would rather quit. But its all worth it. I have learned so much from this experience and would never trade it in for anything else. Its made me a little more confident, feel a little bit more worth my own love and other people's love and support. (I would never be able to do this without the support I have gotten. The willingness of everyone to continue to console a freaked out human being.) I also got taught by the mastermind behind this kitchen which helps out a lot ;)
So there it is. I have succeeded (knock on wood) at running a kitchen. I have made myself proud which is a bigger accomplishment than ever making anyone else proud because I am my own worst critic and my own worst enemy. Although it may seem like I am unhappy here sometimes the truth is this job is making me love me. Is that weird to say? It makes me feel worth something. This has been the biggest challenge in my life thus far (to love me, and to like who I am). Therefore this job has helped me overcome my largest challenge. Although I will continue to struggle with stuff in my life (because life is never easy) this has taught me how make life manageable. That is saying a lot about this job. But it is true. Go on question it. Question what I say in this post. Then talk to me ask me about life in general about everything. See if you can see a difference in me. Have I changed? I bet you anything you will notice a change. It will be subtle but it will be there. :)
So lets get back to the point. Why did I say yes? Because I love Jenna? Because I am way to optimistic? You want to know a secret.... I still dont know what exactly I was thinking when I said yes. Partly I wanted to keep Jenna's traditions alive. She is amazing and spent ten years of her life making a system that is just about flawless for the kitchen. People ask me if I have changed somethings, if there are new recipes etc and I say to them, "why change something that is already good?" Cant really argue with that can you? Jenna took ten years to make that kitchen what it is today. For me to start changing it in the second year being at Fowler and first year being Head Cook would be foolish. To keep JENNAS kitchen HER kitchen was one reason I took the job.Another reason was to prove to myself and I guess some others that I could actually take a position with that amount of stress and responsibility and be successful. (I feel I have proved it to myself) Someone said to me the other day (he caught me crying) "you should be proud." I looked at him and said, "I am proud, I am just stressed." That was the truth. Now saying that means I am proud of myself, of what I have done. (Thats a concept I know) People also ask me whether or not this is worth the stress and anxiety. I say, I may cry, I may scream, I may be completely worn out, but I would never want to be anywhere else. I am proving to myself that I can do a job like this. It will be stressful. There are days when I dont want to get out of bed, when I would rather quit. But its all worth it. I have learned so much from this experience and would never trade it in for anything else. Its made me a little more confident, feel a little bit more worth my own love and other people's love and support. (I would never be able to do this without the support I have gotten. The willingness of everyone to continue to console a freaked out human being.) I also got taught by the mastermind behind this kitchen which helps out a lot ;)
So there it is. I have succeeded (knock on wood) at running a kitchen. I have made myself proud which is a bigger accomplishment than ever making anyone else proud because I am my own worst critic and my own worst enemy. Although it may seem like I am unhappy here sometimes the truth is this job is making me love me. Is that weird to say? It makes me feel worth something. This has been the biggest challenge in my life thus far (to love me, and to like who I am). Therefore this job has helped me overcome my largest challenge. Although I will continue to struggle with stuff in my life (because life is never easy) this has taught me how make life manageable. That is saying a lot about this job. But it is true. Go on question it. Question what I say in this post. Then talk to me ask me about life in general about everything. See if you can see a difference in me. Have I changed? I bet you anything you will notice a change. It will be subtle but it will be there. :)
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Oh My God!
I finished ANOTHER book!! I know I know amazing right?! This book, much more meaningful that the last one (wasnt very hard to beat... seeing that it was a trashy romance novel.) This time I read about, ´´a brother and a sister... about childhood and growing up, friendships and families, triumph and tragedy and everything in between. More than anything its... about love in all its forms.´´ To say the least my head is going crazy right now. I want to laugh I want to cry... perhaps both at the same time which has been known to happen... unfortunately. I am resisting because the girls I am with already think I am crazy... i gotta keep it a secret for as long as possible. ;) Anyhow, I am now mulling over all the relationships I have had in my life. My family in its entirety (immediate and distant) with all its craziness and disfunctionalities. (Just FYI i would never trade it in for anyother family in the world.) i love my family because of all the ups and downs and all arounds. I realize that the perfect parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, older cousins, and other role models not necesarily blood related to me are slowly becoming less perfect and more human. At first i wanted them to stay perfect with my starry eyes looking up at them with admiration and timidness. I now realize its best for me to realize they are human. This way I can stop being too shy or intimidated and be myself with them. People are people are people are people!! No one is perfect. Those ho try to act it will soon realize.... it gets boring fast! Please put some perspective on that statement... I am twenty years old. So I know very little about life in general. BAH! haha. Woo that was a tangent. Anyways this book that I read, it made me wonder who the heck will be with me into the distant future? who will fade away and become a lesson learned or a mistake made? I also wonder who the hell I am going to meet in the future. It's so hard for me to think of my future boyfriend or husband as someone who I have yet to meet because it is weird to think of things continuing to change and me continuing to meet new people. I told my father before coming to Spain, "I want to find a life and settle down there. I am so sick and tired of finding these people who I love dearly and then having to move away from them. I want something in my life to stay constant. I want people to stay constant. I dont want to move anywhere ever again and I want to stay in the same place always. (Yup this is the kind of convos I have with my dad, partly because he is a therapist and knows how to deal with me but mostly because he is my dad and my friend and my security blanket.) Then i realized even if I stayed in the same place and refused to let the things that I control over change I would still be disappointed. Everything changes. people move on. People come in and out and you gotta just enjoy it while you got it there right in front of you. Love a lot. Smile a lot. and dont be afraid to cry. It shows you are human you feel things and that you are living life. BAH so sappy.
So why you ask have I been able to read an ooberly long book in less than a week? Especially because in my normal life I would do anything before I sit down and read for fun more than five minutes. Well, it seems the no pasa nada attitude has engulfed me. I have fallen into a rhythm of life I promised myself I never would fall into and strangely enough I am content. This may be because responsibility takes a back seat here. My life of eating, sleeping, socializing, exercising, reading, and then studying (in descending order of importance.) would be completely scorned in the United States and especially at Cornell where the more you do and if you do it outstandingly the better person you are. That is how I feel at least. However this feeling of pressure may just be my expectancy of myself to be a super hero. If I am anything less then super hero status I am disappointed in myself. I know that is stupid but it is most definitely the truth. If you have ever met me you are saying to yourself wow she must disappoint herself a lot. haha. I try not to think about it. And you wonder why I apologize. sheesh. So now onto the main Spectacle! Last Weekend.
I went to my first shift at the kitchen this weekend. If you are wondering what the heck that means refer to my last blog post. It explains it all! This is the first time I had met these girls and they really didnt know much english so this would be a test of their patience and my spanish level. hahaha. they asked me to go for the weekend to a pueblo to study with them (Their patience proved to be better than my Spanish. haha.) When they first asked I was racing to find an excuse so that I could say no. That is really hard to do in spanish. especially when you speak at the pace of a snail sluggin along the assfault. Then I remembered what my cousin had told me before I left. "Never say no!" and "Always say YES!" A little backwards I know. Dont worry mommy and daddy I know there are times to say no. However in this case I said yes. to go to the country... with seven strangers.... who didnt speak english.... to "study." And then i said to myself, "Oh CRAP!" This trip could be one of two things: a lot of fun or it could fill me with insecurity and doubt. You will see how it turned out.
So we get to the pueblo after a fourty five minutes of a car ride filled with a mixture of Lady Ga Ga, Spanish pop stars, and prayer to the Virgin Mary. What do I need to ask for right when we get there? A tampon of course. Because I wanted to make sure to make myself nice and uncomfortable and embarassed right when I got there. How do you say tampon in Spanish? I still dont know. So how did I get one then? just use your imagination. Verguenza is the word for embarassment. Got that one down pat. Dont walk around a house without shoes on. People will gasp. and then yell. haha. Learned that the hard way. Montana is my nick name given to me by the spectacular Maria Jose. They think the fact I am from LA and that I have a twin and that I have long blonde hair makes me something to want to be like. (HA little do they know!) The first judgement passed on me: " you laugh and smile so much!" (In spanish of course!) I thought to myself that makes sense because whenever i didnt understand something what do you think i did: yup laugh! Which means I was laughing A LOT! There were also a lot of HUHs and QUEs when I didnt understand or when I didnt hear clearly. Those who know me know I dont say those things very delicately or politely. It is more forceful and loud.
It was a lot of fun! There is the answer it wass fun!! And did not produce insecurities in me at all! There were times when I was so utterly confused and just sat and listened for a hint of familiarity. A word here or there that I would understand. The majority of the time when they were talking amongst themselves I stayed confused. Then there were other times when there was a sentence that made sense. And I would yell with excitement: "I UNDERSTAND!" which would send everyone into roaring laughter all over again. All in all. there was a lot of laughing. I said it in spanish of course along with vale, estoy/este/esta bien, gracias, lo siento (of course), and of course the infamous Que/Huh Combo. I actually felt pretty accomplisehed after that weekend. So exhausted but so accomplished. The girls were so freaking nice it is a little bit rediculous! Literally did not dwell on one thing the whole weekend. Didnt think about school, or home, or people accepting me or liking me. I just lived and read and talked and ate, and laughed A LOT. It was a good weekend. I was free for some reason from my own mind. I loved every single second.
So why you ask have I been able to read an ooberly long book in less than a week? Especially because in my normal life I would do anything before I sit down and read for fun more than five minutes. Well, it seems the no pasa nada attitude has engulfed me. I have fallen into a rhythm of life I promised myself I never would fall into and strangely enough I am content. This may be because responsibility takes a back seat here. My life of eating, sleeping, socializing, exercising, reading, and then studying (in descending order of importance.) would be completely scorned in the United States and especially at Cornell where the more you do and if you do it outstandingly the better person you are. That is how I feel at least. However this feeling of pressure may just be my expectancy of myself to be a super hero. If I am anything less then super hero status I am disappointed in myself. I know that is stupid but it is most definitely the truth. If you have ever met me you are saying to yourself wow she must disappoint herself a lot. haha. I try not to think about it. And you wonder why I apologize. sheesh. So now onto the main Spectacle! Last Weekend.
I went to my first shift at the kitchen this weekend. If you are wondering what the heck that means refer to my last blog post. It explains it all! This is the first time I had met these girls and they really didnt know much english so this would be a test of their patience and my spanish level. hahaha. they asked me to go for the weekend to a pueblo to study with them (Their patience proved to be better than my Spanish. haha.) When they first asked I was racing to find an excuse so that I could say no. That is really hard to do in spanish. especially when you speak at the pace of a snail sluggin along the assfault. Then I remembered what my cousin had told me before I left. "Never say no!" and "Always say YES!" A little backwards I know. Dont worry mommy and daddy I know there are times to say no. However in this case I said yes. to go to the country... with seven strangers.... who didnt speak english.... to "study." And then i said to myself, "Oh CRAP!" This trip could be one of two things: a lot of fun or it could fill me with insecurity and doubt. You will see how it turned out.
So we get to the pueblo after a fourty five minutes of a car ride filled with a mixture of Lady Ga Ga, Spanish pop stars, and prayer to the Virgin Mary. What do I need to ask for right when we get there? A tampon of course. Because I wanted to make sure to make myself nice and uncomfortable and embarassed right when I got there. How do you say tampon in Spanish? I still dont know. So how did I get one then? just use your imagination. Verguenza is the word for embarassment. Got that one down pat. Dont walk around a house without shoes on. People will gasp. and then yell. haha. Learned that the hard way. Montana is my nick name given to me by the spectacular Maria Jose. They think the fact I am from LA and that I have a twin and that I have long blonde hair makes me something to want to be like. (HA little do they know!) The first judgement passed on me: " you laugh and smile so much!" (In spanish of course!) I thought to myself that makes sense because whenever i didnt understand something what do you think i did: yup laugh! Which means I was laughing A LOT! There were also a lot of HUHs and QUEs when I didnt understand or when I didnt hear clearly. Those who know me know I dont say those things very delicately or politely. It is more forceful and loud.
It was a lot of fun! There is the answer it wass fun!! And did not produce insecurities in me at all! There were times when I was so utterly confused and just sat and listened for a hint of familiarity. A word here or there that I would understand. The majority of the time when they were talking amongst themselves I stayed confused. Then there were other times when there was a sentence that made sense. And I would yell with excitement: "I UNDERSTAND!" which would send everyone into roaring laughter all over again. All in all. there was a lot of laughing. I said it in spanish of course along with vale, estoy/este/esta bien, gracias, lo siento (of course), and of course the infamous Que/Huh Combo. I actually felt pretty accomplisehed after that weekend. So exhausted but so accomplished. The girls were so freaking nice it is a little bit rediculous! Literally did not dwell on one thing the whole weekend. Didnt think about school, or home, or people accepting me or liking me. I just lived and read and talked and ate, and laughed A LOT. It was a good weekend. I was free for some reason from my own mind. I loved every single second.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
You know i love sausage right?
So this past weekend I had the wonderful opportunity to go to Munich Germany. Had no idea what to expect. because.... well i just didnt. when the plane was landing i got really excited because you looked down and all you could see was country. patchwork green and browns and then patches of pine trees and oh yeah houses sprouting up every so often. it was beautiful!!! finally the plane landed after a seven hour over night layover. which included two coffees and a muffin. and perhaps lunch but i dont remember. I ACTUALLY FINISHED A BOOK! I know amazing right!?? So as always I will highlight the trip instead of going day by day. It will stay more interesting for you that way.
FRIEND: So I went to Germany of course to see Germany but also to see a good friend. (i am gonna tell you a secret, it was more to see the friend than the other way around, but shhh dont tell anyone.) The person is remaining nameless, although most of you already know exactly who I am talking about. If you dont figure it out and then meet them! Okay so this person first of all gives the best freaking hugs ever. secondly makes me feel safe... thirdly understands.... that is all i have to say. about that. i mean i could ramble on and on about how amazing they are and how much i appreciate them in my life and such but this here would turn into a book about my friend instead of about my trip to Germany. Therefore I will resist the temptation and move on quickly. because if you havent noticed I love ranting about the amazing people in my life. you can call me optimistic its ok. haha.
FOOD: For once I was with someone who was willing to eat and eat and eat and eat without worrying about fatness. haha. it was a dream come true.
First day: sausage in a bun with mustard (love at first sight in other words), pretzel, with beer, Tons of Indian food DELICIOUSS! and more beer.
Second Day: Custard filled pastry with Germany´s version of a cappucino (didnt use ANY sugar in that coffee), sandwhich with pork, tomato, lettuce, and cream cheese with selected herbs, beer, crispy pork, dumplings, pretzel with sweet honey that cleared your sinuses right up, beer, oh and another beer.
Third Day: Ready for this... two coffees, a piece of cheese cake with apples and raisins on top, museli and yogurt with chocolate and nuts and fruit in it, A Nutty cinnamon roll, a beer, pizza, another beer, another beer. That was the extent of it. I know it doesnt really sound like a lot of food. but it was AMAZING! i loved my culinary experience in Germany. never thought i would drink so much beer and actually enjoy it. They mixed beer with lemonade and called it Radler. it was delicious. they also mix beer with coke which i didnt really enjoy as much. it was a little bit weird. i mean dont get me wrong i drank it. i wouldnt want to let it go to waste. haha.
SIGHTS: okay so the first day I got there I was literally going on zero hours of sleep. zilcho. so i am sorry that my memory of this day is not so great. what did i see... BMW buildings.. business buildings, showcase, and perhaps factory... all i know is that the architecture was amazing. and i saw a lot of really nice cars. Germany is where BMW is att!
Saw the stadium where the olympics were held in Germany. dont remember the year. because i am retarded. but i am sure you can figure that one out. again extremely modern architecture. Saw a lot of historical buildings that were in all different styles of architecture. Gothic, Rennaissance... etc. umm an outside market and beer garden. which is an awesome idea. a beautiful park that went for miles and miles. a man made wave in a river that the Germans made so that they could surf. thought that was funny.
ALPS: We went to this smaller typical cute German town that was filled with summer homes and little store fronts and bakeries. It was amazing. Mittenwald is what it was called i do believe. There is one little thing I didnt mention. This cute little town is at the base of the Alps. and the view is like nothing I had ever seen before. you look up and all you see is snowy mountains and I wondered how some part of nature can make you feel so small. there were crosses at the tops of peaks that people had made it up to. We took a walk through the hills not the Alps. and made it to a frozen lake. yes i saw a frozen lake. it was amazing and i was so happy. with a smile ear to ear. as we walked back we found a brewery and so of course we got a beer.
LANGUAGE: did not understand a word except for halo and ya. but those are farely straight forward. i kept wanting to revert to spanish and so I kept saying hola, adios, si and lo siento. people looked at me like i was nutso. I tried pronouncing some of the words that my friend was teaching me and was speaking German witha Spanish accent. HA. oh brother!
So another trip down. It is funny how every trip is different. You cant go in without any expectations you gotta just go in and see where life takes you. just live. and live... and live some more. oh and one more thing: THANK YOU FRIEND!
FRIEND: So I went to Germany of course to see Germany but also to see a good friend. (i am gonna tell you a secret, it was more to see the friend than the other way around, but shhh dont tell anyone.) The person is remaining nameless, although most of you already know exactly who I am talking about. If you dont figure it out and then meet them! Okay so this person first of all gives the best freaking hugs ever. secondly makes me feel safe... thirdly understands.... that is all i have to say. about that. i mean i could ramble on and on about how amazing they are and how much i appreciate them in my life and such but this here would turn into a book about my friend instead of about my trip to Germany. Therefore I will resist the temptation and move on quickly. because if you havent noticed I love ranting about the amazing people in my life. you can call me optimistic its ok. haha.
FOOD: For once I was with someone who was willing to eat and eat and eat and eat without worrying about fatness. haha. it was a dream come true.
First day: sausage in a bun with mustard (love at first sight in other words), pretzel, with beer, Tons of Indian food DELICIOUSS! and more beer.
Second Day: Custard filled pastry with Germany´s version of a cappucino (didnt use ANY sugar in that coffee), sandwhich with pork, tomato, lettuce, and cream cheese with selected herbs, beer, crispy pork, dumplings, pretzel with sweet honey that cleared your sinuses right up, beer, oh and another beer.
Third Day: Ready for this... two coffees, a piece of cheese cake with apples and raisins on top, museli and yogurt with chocolate and nuts and fruit in it, A Nutty cinnamon roll, a beer, pizza, another beer, another beer. That was the extent of it. I know it doesnt really sound like a lot of food. but it was AMAZING! i loved my culinary experience in Germany. never thought i would drink so much beer and actually enjoy it. They mixed beer with lemonade and called it Radler. it was delicious. they also mix beer with coke which i didnt really enjoy as much. it was a little bit weird. i mean dont get me wrong i drank it. i wouldnt want to let it go to waste. haha.
SIGHTS: okay so the first day I got there I was literally going on zero hours of sleep. zilcho. so i am sorry that my memory of this day is not so great. what did i see... BMW buildings.. business buildings, showcase, and perhaps factory... all i know is that the architecture was amazing. and i saw a lot of really nice cars. Germany is where BMW is att!
Saw the stadium where the olympics were held in Germany. dont remember the year. because i am retarded. but i am sure you can figure that one out. again extremely modern architecture. Saw a lot of historical buildings that were in all different styles of architecture. Gothic, Rennaissance... etc. umm an outside market and beer garden. which is an awesome idea. a beautiful park that went for miles and miles. a man made wave in a river that the Germans made so that they could surf. thought that was funny.
ALPS: We went to this smaller typical cute German town that was filled with summer homes and little store fronts and bakeries. It was amazing. Mittenwald is what it was called i do believe. There is one little thing I didnt mention. This cute little town is at the base of the Alps. and the view is like nothing I had ever seen before. you look up and all you see is snowy mountains and I wondered how some part of nature can make you feel so small. there were crosses at the tops of peaks that people had made it up to. We took a walk through the hills not the Alps. and made it to a frozen lake. yes i saw a frozen lake. it was amazing and i was so happy. with a smile ear to ear. as we walked back we found a brewery and so of course we got a beer.
LANGUAGE: did not understand a word except for halo and ya. but those are farely straight forward. i kept wanting to revert to spanish and so I kept saying hola, adios, si and lo siento. people looked at me like i was nutso. I tried pronouncing some of the words that my friend was teaching me and was speaking German witha Spanish accent. HA. oh brother!
So another trip down. It is funny how every trip is different. You cant go in without any expectations you gotta just go in and see where life takes you. just live. and live... and live some more. oh and one more thing: THANK YOU FRIEND!
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Cooking... Its what I do.
So today I had the wonderful experience of going with a friend of mine (Inez) to volunteer at a residencia (dormatory for all boys). It was parents day. We were cooking for 100 people. I thought to myself... 100 thats nothin. I got this. haha. Get this they get their clothes washed and their beds made for them. Que Suerte!! Anyhow I knew I was in for a good time right when I entered. because everyone was so nice and welcoming and not afraid to talk to me.
We went into the kitchen. I looked over and there was someone cleaning the oven ... scrubbin oh so hard! I thought to myself I feel your pain. It wasnt a griddle but it was just as greasy. Then they put me to work. You know what I realized... cooking is the same all over the world. I mean I guess you have to take that statement with a grain of salt. but it has the same basic principles. you still make stock by boiling chicken or vegetables depending on what kinds of stock you make. Even though everyone there spoke spanish I felt like I was comfortable. Because all I had to do was cook. I can cook. Its something I can do. Every so often people would talk to me asking me questions and I would answer back and giggle. My phrase of the day was "INTIENDO!" (I understand!)
Its funny that i am going to say this. But kitchen people get me. they just do. HAHA. It is seriously where I belong. I immediately felt like I belonged with this group of girls. It was amazing. I even almost did my laugh. YUP one day and my laugh almost came out. That would have freaked them out i am pretty sure so I suppressed it. haha. I did laugh a lot though. And I fit in. And they invited me back. I spoke a lot of spanish. and did business with the boss. and wore a uniform. And loved the girls. It was great. And i am going back every weekend. so i am stoked. I have no deep thoughts to share. but i did want to share the excitement. If I was saying Noahs name it would go a little bit like this: NOOOOAAAAAHHHHHH!!! so many freakin feelings. i am just so happy! hahahahah. oh life. it throws stuff at you doesnt it! gotta stay calm though so my stomach doesnt get upset. that is never fun.hahaha oh and another thing i am excited about: going to Germany to visit jack next weekend!!! he best be prepared!!! :) See this post is a little bit better than the last few i hope. even though its just me spewing out all of my excitement and not a whole lot of thoughtfulness. there will be thoughtfulness to come! I promise!! LOVE YOU ALL!
We were done with cooking finally and we went to sit and eat
We went into the kitchen. I looked over and there was someone cleaning the oven ... scrubbin oh so hard! I thought to myself I feel your pain. It wasnt a griddle but it was just as greasy. Then they put me to work. You know what I realized... cooking is the same all over the world. I mean I guess you have to take that statement with a grain of salt. but it has the same basic principles. you still make stock by boiling chicken or vegetables depending on what kinds of stock you make. Even though everyone there spoke spanish I felt like I was comfortable. Because all I had to do was cook. I can cook. Its something I can do. Every so often people would talk to me asking me questions and I would answer back and giggle. My phrase of the day was "INTIENDO!" (I understand!)
Its funny that i am going to say this. But kitchen people get me. they just do. HAHA. It is seriously where I belong. I immediately felt like I belonged with this group of girls. It was amazing. I even almost did my laugh. YUP one day and my laugh almost came out. That would have freaked them out i am pretty sure so I suppressed it. haha. I did laugh a lot though. And I fit in. And they invited me back. I spoke a lot of spanish. and did business with the boss. and wore a uniform. And loved the girls. It was great. And i am going back every weekend. so i am stoked. I have no deep thoughts to share. but i did want to share the excitement. If I was saying Noahs name it would go a little bit like this: NOOOOAAAAAHHHHHH!!! so many freakin feelings. i am just so happy! hahahahah. oh life. it throws stuff at you doesnt it! gotta stay calm though so my stomach doesnt get upset. that is never fun.hahaha oh and another thing i am excited about: going to Germany to visit jack next weekend!!! he best be prepared!!! :) See this post is a little bit better than the last few i hope. even though its just me spewing out all of my excitement and not a whole lot of thoughtfulness. there will be thoughtfulness to come! I promise!! LOVE YOU ALL!
We were done with cooking finally and we went to sit and eat
Saturday, March 19, 2011
"and then you just laugh and its all good again."
its ironic that i am writing this post at this time. well actually its already writen i am just copying down what is written in my notebook already.
Currently sitting in the gardens of the Alcazar, journalling. (you know no big deal). Except it is a very big deal. Sheesh who would have thunk it. this place would become a place to study. its just your every day normal PALACE. I have more written in my journal but i am just going to cut to the chase.
So now lets get to the heart of the matter. This may be somewhat racey. You may end up thinking I am vein. I am going to write it anyways. I am sure I will apologize later. I am 5'8" and about 140 pounds (although I havent weighed weighed myself for a while, everything seems to be fitting me pretty well.) I have long blond hair with big blue eyes that are somewhat striking. I have biggish boobs, a small waste and long ass legs. Although some of these things are personally very annoying (ex: big boobs for a runner not convenient.) they would be considered attractive. I dont wear tons of make up. in fact I rarely wear any, my legs are NOT shaven every three days and my eyebrows do whatever the fuck they want to do. 145 pounds may seem like a lot but I think I am thin with toned arms and legs and a stomach (sometimes). I think I am physically attractive. and so do the spanish construction workers who stop whatever they are doing to hoot and hollar and rate me. "Diez, Diez, Diez!!" they say. Dont get me wrong I dont sit here and tell myself all of the time that I am beautiful, and neither do other people. I mean my mom and grandma do. But if they sat there and said I was butt ugly that would give me an even bigger complex I think. All of these words above are reaffirming it for myself. I AM BEAUTIFUL. This for some reason is not as fulfilling as I would have hoped. Being physically attractive is limitedly fulfilling. There are people who straighten my hair and do my make up and tell me, "Look you are so beautiful." and I think to myself, "what i wasnt before?" I know they dont mean it that way. Its the norm to wear makeup so of course I am gonna be "beautiful" with it on. You are supposed to cover up all your blemishes. (all the things that make you human.) So my blemishes make me ugly? No, they make me real. I am 20 years old and I have smile lines. Should I be ashamed and cover them up? No. I should be proud of my stupid smile lines. It means I am for the most part happy. People tell me to be more superficial. (I tend to scare people sometimes with my straightforwardness.) Shocker.
This is where this is headed. The other day one of my professors here gave me a compliment. I was in baggy jeans, and a shirt that was nothing special. My hair was not brushed... surprise, surprise. It was the day of the prelim so i was all in all A wreck. When handing the prelim in I did my normal smile giggle and Judy stops me and says, "Hannah you are particularly beautiful today.." I look at myself and she continues, " you have this glow about you. and you seem so happy." She had witnessed an encounter with me and another teacher where i was my normal and awkward and laughy self. She made a comment about it. This is a bigger compliment than someone telling me that i look like a blond Angelina Jolee. or that they want my legs. She complimented who I am. She saw a small glimpse of the real me. and thought it was beautiful. I know my body is good. I run and run and run some more. If my self esteem issues were in that department I would wear makeup or shave my legs... more. The self esteem issues occur when I start wondering. Lets face it. I am a good person. I am interesting, smart, down to earth, selfless, endearing (now i really sound vein. Oh BROTHER!) So why dont I believe this? Who would I be if I didnt apologize all of the time? IF i didnt laugh when i am anxious, embarassed, sad, and oh yeah happy? If I take away all the insecurities, I take away half of who I am. Then what? What do I fill that half up with? Who will I turn into if I suddenly like myself? vein, selfish, uncaring? who knows. Being insecure is my security blanket. its the way I comfort myself. When I apologize someone says why are you apologizing and i know that what i was doing is ok. I am upfront because I am afraid that people will notice all of my flaws so I mind as well tell them. (when in reality they wouldnt have noticed). So what do I do? How do I stay confident and believe that what i say and do and who I am is all good enough? If I stop being insecure I cant rely on people saying that its ok. I need to rely on myself to tell me that its ok. How do i do that? How the hell do I go about doing that? SHEESH. another deep thought blog entry. its ok. dont be scared... next one is Portugual. I know I already said that. but it really is this time. I am starting it right.... NOW!
Currently sitting in the gardens of the Alcazar, journalling. (you know no big deal). Except it is a very big deal. Sheesh who would have thunk it. this place would become a place to study. its just your every day normal PALACE. I have more written in my journal but i am just going to cut to the chase.
So now lets get to the heart of the matter. This may be somewhat racey. You may end up thinking I am vein. I am going to write it anyways. I am sure I will apologize later. I am 5'8" and about 140 pounds (although I havent weighed weighed myself for a while, everything seems to be fitting me pretty well.) I have long blond hair with big blue eyes that are somewhat striking. I have biggish boobs, a small waste and long ass legs. Although some of these things are personally very annoying (ex: big boobs for a runner not convenient.) they would be considered attractive. I dont wear tons of make up. in fact I rarely wear any, my legs are NOT shaven every three days and my eyebrows do whatever the fuck they want to do. 145 pounds may seem like a lot but I think I am thin with toned arms and legs and a stomach (sometimes). I think I am physically attractive. and so do the spanish construction workers who stop whatever they are doing to hoot and hollar and rate me. "Diez, Diez, Diez!!" they say. Dont get me wrong I dont sit here and tell myself all of the time that I am beautiful, and neither do other people. I mean my mom and grandma do. But if they sat there and said I was butt ugly that would give me an even bigger complex I think. All of these words above are reaffirming it for myself. I AM BEAUTIFUL. This for some reason is not as fulfilling as I would have hoped. Being physically attractive is limitedly fulfilling. There are people who straighten my hair and do my make up and tell me, "Look you are so beautiful." and I think to myself, "what i wasnt before?" I know they dont mean it that way. Its the norm to wear makeup so of course I am gonna be "beautiful" with it on. You are supposed to cover up all your blemishes. (all the things that make you human.) So my blemishes make me ugly? No, they make me real. I am 20 years old and I have smile lines. Should I be ashamed and cover them up? No. I should be proud of my stupid smile lines. It means I am for the most part happy. People tell me to be more superficial. (I tend to scare people sometimes with my straightforwardness.) Shocker.
This is where this is headed. The other day one of my professors here gave me a compliment. I was in baggy jeans, and a shirt that was nothing special. My hair was not brushed... surprise, surprise. It was the day of the prelim so i was all in all A wreck. When handing the prelim in I did my normal smile giggle and Judy stops me and says, "Hannah you are particularly beautiful today.." I look at myself and she continues, " you have this glow about you. and you seem so happy." She had witnessed an encounter with me and another teacher where i was my normal and awkward and laughy self. She made a comment about it. This is a bigger compliment than someone telling me that i look like a blond Angelina Jolee. or that they want my legs. She complimented who I am. She saw a small glimpse of the real me. and thought it was beautiful. I know my body is good. I run and run and run some more. If my self esteem issues were in that department I would wear makeup or shave my legs... more. The self esteem issues occur when I start wondering. Lets face it. I am a good person. I am interesting, smart, down to earth, selfless, endearing (now i really sound vein. Oh BROTHER!) So why dont I believe this? Who would I be if I didnt apologize all of the time? IF i didnt laugh when i am anxious, embarassed, sad, and oh yeah happy? If I take away all the insecurities, I take away half of who I am. Then what? What do I fill that half up with? Who will I turn into if I suddenly like myself? vein, selfish, uncaring? who knows. Being insecure is my security blanket. its the way I comfort myself. When I apologize someone says why are you apologizing and i know that what i was doing is ok. I am upfront because I am afraid that people will notice all of my flaws so I mind as well tell them. (when in reality they wouldnt have noticed). So what do I do? How do I stay confident and believe that what i say and do and who I am is all good enough? If I stop being insecure I cant rely on people saying that its ok. I need to rely on myself to tell me that its ok. How do i do that? How the hell do I go about doing that? SHEESH. another deep thought blog entry. its ok. dont be scared... next one is Portugual. I know I already said that. but it really is this time. I am starting it right.... NOW!
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Cheer Up Charlie :)
Everyone has their ups and downs. Some people have more intense ups and downs then others. When they are happy they are really really really happy and when they are sad... well you get the picture. I believe that these are the people that live with the most passion and vigor in their life. When they are happy they are smiling ear to ear. Feeling down (although lowsy and extremely unproductive) it is okay because it makes the happy parts so much more enjoyable.
What exactly am I trying to say? Its been a tough couple of weeks. haha. Lots of ups and downs to say the least. (Hence the lack of blog posts). I know that no one is reading this to find out about the hard times that I have here. The people reading this are looking for the great times and trips and stories that I have. Although I have many stories to tell about Portugal and stories about the funny occurances in my life in Spain, I feel it is important for me to track the realizations that I make and the epiphonies that I have.
Epiphony #1: Living for yourself when you have spent the majority of your life living for someone else whether it be a coach or a best friend is extremely difficult.
Epiphony #2: Studying is still a necessity even in Spain!!!
Epiphony#3: Being a little superficial sometimes can be extremely beneficial. (HA: lets see if that one works out)
Epiphony#4: It is amazing how running can act as therapy!
Epiphony#5: (This one is still hard to understand for me) Even when you are away from the ones that you love, they still love you!
Epiphony#6: Intercambios are amazing (my intercambio's name is Inez and she plays basketball and is getting me a volunteering position in a kitchen!) we meet twice a week and she laughs just as much as I do :)
Epiphony#7: Laughing can always make your day better even if it is not genuine (fake it till you make it)
Epiphony#8: Doggonit I am a good person and people actually like me. ;)
That is a lot of epiphonies for just a couple of weeks. I think it may be a sign that I have spent a little bit too much time in my head and not enough time enjoying Spain. That needs to change ASAP! There are purple blossoms on the trees in the park! I ran in the rain yesterday! I love my host family and my intercambio! My sister is coming to visit me here! I am gonna play basketball in less than a week! (with people who speak extremely quickly in spanish... oh boy!) My spanish is improving drastically! I understand so much! Jeeze louise writing those things down makes me think: Why the hell was I unhappy in the first place?! sheesh. life. Its a rollercoaster. you better wear a helmet! haha. (boy meets world reference, anyone know it??) Next post: Portugal. hope you are excited. I know I am.
What exactly am I trying to say? Its been a tough couple of weeks. haha. Lots of ups and downs to say the least. (Hence the lack of blog posts). I know that no one is reading this to find out about the hard times that I have here. The people reading this are looking for the great times and trips and stories that I have. Although I have many stories to tell about Portugal and stories about the funny occurances in my life in Spain, I feel it is important for me to track the realizations that I make and the epiphonies that I have.
Epiphony #1: Living for yourself when you have spent the majority of your life living for someone else whether it be a coach or a best friend is extremely difficult.
Epiphony #2: Studying is still a necessity even in Spain!!!
Epiphony#3: Being a little superficial sometimes can be extremely beneficial. (HA: lets see if that one works out)
Epiphony#4: It is amazing how running can act as therapy!
Epiphony#5: (This one is still hard to understand for me) Even when you are away from the ones that you love, they still love you!
Epiphony#6: Intercambios are amazing (my intercambio's name is Inez and she plays basketball and is getting me a volunteering position in a kitchen!) we meet twice a week and she laughs just as much as I do :)
Epiphony#7: Laughing can always make your day better even if it is not genuine (fake it till you make it)
Epiphony#8: Doggonit I am a good person and people actually like me. ;)
That is a lot of epiphonies for just a couple of weeks. I think it may be a sign that I have spent a little bit too much time in my head and not enough time enjoying Spain. That needs to change ASAP! There are purple blossoms on the trees in the park! I ran in the rain yesterday! I love my host family and my intercambio! My sister is coming to visit me here! I am gonna play basketball in less than a week! (with people who speak extremely quickly in spanish... oh boy!) My spanish is improving drastically! I understand so much! Jeeze louise writing those things down makes me think: Why the hell was I unhappy in the first place?! sheesh. life. Its a rollercoaster. you better wear a helmet! haha. (boy meets world reference, anyone know it??) Next post: Portugal. hope you are excited. I know I am.
Monday, February 21, 2011
"How are you doing?" The English Waiter Asks
On the tenth of February I left Sevilla, Spain and my destination... London, England. The two things that I was most excited about 1) Going to an English speaking country. and 2) Seeing my sister ( after visiting her in such different circumstances I realized she truly is my best friend. and the one person who remotely understands where exactly I am coming from). Its pretty awesome to have a sister like that so i think you should all be at least a little jealous ;) You all should meet her one day if you haven't. She is the epitome of AMAZING!
While on the plane these two things were the aspects topping the charts of excitement. Upon arrival I realized there was so much more to be excited about and that I wasn't gonna sleep very much because of that excitement. I went through customs. The man questioned me a little bit. because i didn't know my sister's address... or her phone number... or any one's phone number for that matter. but i just kept smiling. like one of those huge smiles and i was laughing. Finally he said okay come on through. and at this point he was smiling. (I am telling you just smile. it works wonders. smile and giggle; smile and giggle.) Alright so I was free. Now i had to find the bus that would take me to my sister! I thought it wont matter I am in an English speaking country i will be able to understand. I will just ask my way through the airport. hahaha not so much. went to the first person who would know and he started telling me and suddenly my huge smile went to a huge look of confusion. Those English accents mind as well be Spanish. Finally I just started laughing and he realized that i couldn't understand. It was a process but I got to the bus and then to my sister and then all was right with the world.
I need to explain to all of you the dynamic that I have with my sister. Especially for those of you who have yet to meet her. When you first meet the two of us together you may think that we are exactly the same. Most people do. But there are more differences than anyone can count. We both laugh the same. Both the normal and the screechy laugh. We both smile a lot. giggle a lot. and are very real with just about everyone we meet from day 1 till day 101. We both apologize incessantly and we both like a good hug. (I express it more than she does however ;) I am not going to get into the differences because you will only understand those differences once you know both of us extremely well. Although I am mooshy with just about everyone important to me I am not mooshy with her. Why? Because I know she will be there always. in my ups and downs. When I am laughing, or crying, or both at the same time. She will never leave me. She will love me always and I her. I don't feel any chance in loosing her for something I do or say. Therefore, we are ourselves with each other. and i am here for her as well. forever! Maybe all siblings have this sort of bond. Maybe not. All I know is whoever becomes my husband will have to understand that my sister is someone that I love with all my heart and if she is in trouble she comes first.
So now that i have rambled on and on about my sister onto England. I will not step you through the entire trip because that would be so much and you would get tired of me writing with absolutely no structure. I will write about the highlights.
Traveling Alone: There is something invigorating about traveling in Europe alone. There are feelings of fright, confidence, excitement, exhaustion, exhilaration, it is an overall very anxiety producing experience. Lord knows that I have enough anxiety without traveling through Europe alone. Why you ask do I do it? Because in the end when you reach the destination and see the black taxi cabs that come from the movies, and the people driving on the other side of the street, the Big Ben, the double decker buses, the colorful houses, Cambden Market; and when you hear the English accents it is all suddenly worth the anxiety. It is worth the thoughts that I am going to die on the plane, or my luggage is going to get lost. Because when you see the bakeries with the English people gathered inside and living their lives it doesn't matter what you had to do to get there. All that matters is that you are there. In a different culture... living a different way of life.
Exploring Alone: Taylor had to work the entire first day I was in England. I was a little worried at first. Upon waking up I was ready for an adventure. So I borrowed a jacket from the family I was staying with "Wait you didn't bring a jacket? I mean everyone knows it rains here in London. Why wouldn't you bring a rain coat or umbrella. even if it was just a myth?" Asked about which tube to take to get to Knotting Hill (like in the freakin movie!) and was off. I was told the best way to explore is to just get lost. so that is what I planned on doing. The most amazing part: doing exactly what i wanted to do and nothing more or less. Taking the pictures I wanted to take, seeing the places that I wanted to see, and eating when i wanted to eat.
English Accents: I have had an undying love and infatuation for English accents ever since I could remember. Therefore you can imagine the emotions I felt when I was in England and every single person had an English accent. I remember distinctly walking down by the Portabelo Market and listening and smiling as I walked just because of hearing people talk. There was one point when a gentleman was walking past and I stared at him with the biggest smile on my face. He looked at me with utter confusion. And after about 30 seconds of having our eyes locked and me continuing to smile he smiled to. Then we both went on our way. It was pretty hilarious. Who knows what he was thinking about me. or what kind of day he was having. It doesn't matter because at that moment I got him to smile. Makes me smile to think about it. There was another time during the day where I walked into a frozen yogurt shop to buy some deliciousness. Here I found so many little boys with their moms buying frozen yogurt as an after school treat. These boys were probably the snottiest kids I had ever seen. And anyone who was with me would have agreed immediately. Instead of being utterly annoyed and wanting to make them stop I smiled and giggled to myself as I sat there listening to their shrill british accents. Their mothers were ignoring them and the employees at the yogurt shop were so irritated you could see it all over their faces. And I sat their in the middle of the tiny shop with a huge grin on my face. children on both sides of me. I must have looked absolutely nuts. But i did not give a rats ass. I was in a blissful state.
Bakeries: What is everyone's dream job/life? I mean everyone has one whether its unrealistic or realistic. Every single person has something in their head that they would be doing in their dreams. I have had one... since I was pretty young and I am working on making that dream come true. It may sound simple, practical, or not practical but its to open my own bakery. This is what I want to do when I graduate from Cornell and Pastry Arts school. And after I get the money to do such a costly and risky thing. Why do I say all of this? In England you wouldn't think of the wonderful cuisine. In fact I have only heard the opposite: "the food is boring, and not flavorful." No one ever talked about the bakeries on every street. The small cafes that were everywhere each one with their own style and way of individualizing themselves. These made me cry. Literally. The cafes that lined the streets. Nothing huge. In fact very small. With the pastries, and the cakes so intricately decorated, the motif inside the cafes each one completely different, seeing the locals having their daily cup of coffee and reading the paper. The chefs dressed in their whites and their black crocs. This is what I want. Obviously my own with the recipes from my family and the decorations that I feel would be best. But seeing these bakeries made me realize that its doable. There are people out there who have done it. So I cried. Alone walking through the bakeries. It was epic. I am such a sap.
Sights I saw: The London Eye, Big Ben, Hyde Park, Camden Market, Portabelo Market, so many churches, gardens, swans, artwork, weird but such interesting people. Not too many but I had two days. My goal was to see the English way of life. This I accomplished (at least I think so).
While on the plane these two things were the aspects topping the charts of excitement. Upon arrival I realized there was so much more to be excited about and that I wasn't gonna sleep very much because of that excitement. I went through customs. The man questioned me a little bit. because i didn't know my sister's address... or her phone number... or any one's phone number for that matter. but i just kept smiling. like one of those huge smiles and i was laughing. Finally he said okay come on through. and at this point he was smiling. (I am telling you just smile. it works wonders. smile and giggle; smile and giggle.) Alright so I was free. Now i had to find the bus that would take me to my sister! I thought it wont matter I am in an English speaking country i will be able to understand. I will just ask my way through the airport. hahaha not so much. went to the first person who would know and he started telling me and suddenly my huge smile went to a huge look of confusion. Those English accents mind as well be Spanish. Finally I just started laughing and he realized that i couldn't understand. It was a process but I got to the bus and then to my sister and then all was right with the world.
I need to explain to all of you the dynamic that I have with my sister. Especially for those of you who have yet to meet her. When you first meet the two of us together you may think that we are exactly the same. Most people do. But there are more differences than anyone can count. We both laugh the same. Both the normal and the screechy laugh. We both smile a lot. giggle a lot. and are very real with just about everyone we meet from day 1 till day 101. We both apologize incessantly and we both like a good hug. (I express it more than she does however ;) I am not going to get into the differences because you will only understand those differences once you know both of us extremely well. Although I am mooshy with just about everyone important to me I am not mooshy with her. Why? Because I know she will be there always. in my ups and downs. When I am laughing, or crying, or both at the same time. She will never leave me. She will love me always and I her. I don't feel any chance in loosing her for something I do or say. Therefore, we are ourselves with each other. and i am here for her as well. forever! Maybe all siblings have this sort of bond. Maybe not. All I know is whoever becomes my husband will have to understand that my sister is someone that I love with all my heart and if she is in trouble she comes first.
So now that i have rambled on and on about my sister onto England. I will not step you through the entire trip because that would be so much and you would get tired of me writing with absolutely no structure. I will write about the highlights.
Traveling Alone: There is something invigorating about traveling in Europe alone. There are feelings of fright, confidence, excitement, exhaustion, exhilaration, it is an overall very anxiety producing experience. Lord knows that I have enough anxiety without traveling through Europe alone. Why you ask do I do it? Because in the end when you reach the destination and see the black taxi cabs that come from the movies, and the people driving on the other side of the street, the Big Ben, the double decker buses, the colorful houses, Cambden Market; and when you hear the English accents it is all suddenly worth the anxiety. It is worth the thoughts that I am going to die on the plane, or my luggage is going to get lost. Because when you see the bakeries with the English people gathered inside and living their lives it doesn't matter what you had to do to get there. All that matters is that you are there. In a different culture... living a different way of life.
Exploring Alone: Taylor had to work the entire first day I was in England. I was a little worried at first. Upon waking up I was ready for an adventure. So I borrowed a jacket from the family I was staying with "Wait you didn't bring a jacket? I mean everyone knows it rains here in London. Why wouldn't you bring a rain coat or umbrella. even if it was just a myth?" Asked about which tube to take to get to Knotting Hill (like in the freakin movie!) and was off. I was told the best way to explore is to just get lost. so that is what I planned on doing. The most amazing part: doing exactly what i wanted to do and nothing more or less. Taking the pictures I wanted to take, seeing the places that I wanted to see, and eating when i wanted to eat.
English Accents: I have had an undying love and infatuation for English accents ever since I could remember. Therefore you can imagine the emotions I felt when I was in England and every single person had an English accent. I remember distinctly walking down by the Portabelo Market and listening and smiling as I walked just because of hearing people talk. There was one point when a gentleman was walking past and I stared at him with the biggest smile on my face. He looked at me with utter confusion. And after about 30 seconds of having our eyes locked and me continuing to smile he smiled to. Then we both went on our way. It was pretty hilarious. Who knows what he was thinking about me. or what kind of day he was having. It doesn't matter because at that moment I got him to smile. Makes me smile to think about it. There was another time during the day where I walked into a frozen yogurt shop to buy some deliciousness. Here I found so many little boys with their moms buying frozen yogurt as an after school treat. These boys were probably the snottiest kids I had ever seen. And anyone who was with me would have agreed immediately. Instead of being utterly annoyed and wanting to make them stop I smiled and giggled to myself as I sat there listening to their shrill british accents. Their mothers were ignoring them and the employees at the yogurt shop were so irritated you could see it all over their faces. And I sat their in the middle of the tiny shop with a huge grin on my face. children on both sides of me. I must have looked absolutely nuts. But i did not give a rats ass. I was in a blissful state.
Bakeries: What is everyone's dream job/life? I mean everyone has one whether its unrealistic or realistic. Every single person has something in their head that they would be doing in their dreams. I have had one... since I was pretty young and I am working on making that dream come true. It may sound simple, practical, or not practical but its to open my own bakery. This is what I want to do when I graduate from Cornell and Pastry Arts school. And after I get the money to do such a costly and risky thing. Why do I say all of this? In England you wouldn't think of the wonderful cuisine. In fact I have only heard the opposite: "the food is boring, and not flavorful." No one ever talked about the bakeries on every street. The small cafes that were everywhere each one with their own style and way of individualizing themselves. These made me cry. Literally. The cafes that lined the streets. Nothing huge. In fact very small. With the pastries, and the cakes so intricately decorated, the motif inside the cafes each one completely different, seeing the locals having their daily cup of coffee and reading the paper. The chefs dressed in their whites and their black crocs. This is what I want. Obviously my own with the recipes from my family and the decorations that I feel would be best. But seeing these bakeries made me realize that its doable. There are people out there who have done it. So I cried. Alone walking through the bakeries. It was epic. I am such a sap.
Sights I saw: The London Eye, Big Ben, Hyde Park, Camden Market, Portabelo Market, so many churches, gardens, swans, artwork, weird but such interesting people. Not too many but I had two days. My goal was to see the English way of life. This I accomplished (at least I think so).
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)
Last year one day while running to crew practice i was somewhat attacked by a german shepherd. On the plus side it got me out of going to practice on the minus side it drew blood on my ass and I had to go show a really hot trainer my bare naked ass with teeth marks puncturing through the skin. (epitome of embarrassing) Anyhow why you ask am I telling you all about this incident? WELL it turns out that I have been scarred for life. A couple of days ago I was chased down while running by a vicious jack russel tarrier. I had my head phones in my ears so couldnt hear anything around me. Suddenly I turn around and there is a little dog running at my heels. I started yelling "GO AWAY, GO AWAY!" mind you i had my head phones in so it was probably twice as loud as it needed to be. He wouldnt leave (probably because he was a spanish speaking dog). So I started doing zig zags in the street and tried running faster. Still at my heels. It was a fast little bastard. Finally I got tired so I just stopped at this point I was three feet from my house. What does the dog do? He comes up and starts licking my freaking leg. I start laughing histerically and then hear running footsteps. His owner comes running up and says, "perdon, perdon." and I say "lo siento, lo siento." why was I apologizing? because it is the only spanish words i could come up with on the spot. And guess what, the guy was hot. He was very very handsome. Figures. That would happen to me. Anyways he left with his dog. And I took the last few steps to my house. Went upstairs and cracked up some more. I explained it to my housemate who cracked up too. It was hilarity all around. I for sure thought the dog was going to eat me though. I mean little dogs can be vicious sometimes. :)
Monday, February 7, 2011
Getting Into the Swing of Things
I have now been here for 2 weeks. It has been an adventurous few weeks and has been so amazing. Finally I am getting used to everyday life and its becoming apparent that it will in fact be easier to think about life back at home than I first thought. For some reason I thought I would never look back to the past. I would only look into the future. Its hard to do that on a constant basis. So as I sit here and miss people back home and miss the experiences that I had with them I must start thinking of more activities to take up my time.
1. Traveling
2. Join a Basketball Team
3. Row (maybe, i am not very good and I dont really like it all that much but it is something)
4. Community Service
These are a few examples of what I may try to do in order to fill up these voids in me and find people that I can make new relationships with that will let me feel a connection to something here. (again no falling in love with people, but relationships are a necessity) This weekend I am going to London perfect thing to think about when I feel like I miss the people back home. If I was back home I would not be able to go to freakin LONDON! It will all be fine. I will make it okay. I wont let myself stop experiencing SPAIN and i will continue to take advantage of the opportunities that fall into my lap! :)
1. Traveling
2. Join a Basketball Team
3. Row (maybe, i am not very good and I dont really like it all that much but it is something)
4. Community Service
These are a few examples of what I may try to do in order to fill up these voids in me and find people that I can make new relationships with that will let me feel a connection to something here. (again no falling in love with people, but relationships are a necessity) This weekend I am going to London perfect thing to think about when I feel like I miss the people back home. If I was back home I would not be able to go to freakin LONDON! It will all be fine. I will make it okay. I wont let myself stop experiencing SPAIN and i will continue to take advantage of the opportunities that fall into my lap! :)
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Goals for the Neurotic Traveler
I believe it is apparent that I am not the easiest going person in the world. I mean maybe I have fulled some of you with my smiling face and irritating laugh but let the truth come out: I am uptight. I would go as far as to say that I am neurotic. I have come to terms with it. I make fun of it with my family at this point and have accepted that it is part of who I am. Lets face it though, how much fun can an uptight person really have in Sevilla, Spain? I mean lets be real. With this in mind I am making the following list of things to do for myself. Warning some of the "goals" may be somewhat forward for lack of a better word. They also may seem pretty easy, but if they are on the list they take a good amount of effort for me.
1. Sleep when I am tired (but never sleep away the day)
2. Take the time to finish a book
3. Watch as many Telenovelas as possible
4. Take a few days off of school to travel the world
5. Eat as much wonderful food as I want without worrying about getting fat
6. Take a night off from being the soberish one taking care of the not so sober ones (or worrying about them when I am not taking care of them)
7. Run only when I WANT to and not when I feel like I HAVE to
8. Take too many pictures...
9. Kiss a Spanish man without feeling guilty at all.
10. Be the one out of control for a night (sober or not)
11. See flamenco (this has already been accomplished)
12. See a bull fight
13. Take myself all over the world (or however far my money will take me)
14. Don't be afraid to spend on souvenirs for myself (this is a once in a lifetime thing)
15. Don't be afraid of being alone and doing what I want to do
16. See the sights of Sevilla (obviously) and surrounding cities
17. Feel guilty for having too much fun
18.Cry, scream, yell, curse, laugh... feel
19. Don't worry about what other people think
20. Dance away so many nights I cant remember one from the other
21. Love only those who love me back
22. Be beautiful, fun, and fabulous!
1. Sleep when I am tired (but never sleep away the day)
2. Take the time to finish a book
3. Watch as many Telenovelas as possible
4. Take a few days off of school to travel the world
5. Eat as much wonderful food as I want without worrying about getting fat
6. Take a night off from being the soberish one taking care of the not so sober ones (or worrying about them when I am not taking care of them)
7. Run only when I WANT to and not when I feel like I HAVE to
8. Take too many pictures...
9. Kiss a Spanish man without feeling guilty at all.
10. Be the one out of control for a night (sober or not)
11. See flamenco (this has already been accomplished)
12. See a bull fight
13. Take myself all over the world (or however far my money will take me)
14. Don't be afraid to spend on souvenirs for myself (this is a once in a lifetime thing)
15. Don't be afraid of being alone and doing what I want to do
16. See the sights of Sevilla (obviously) and surrounding cities
17. Feel guilty for having too much fun
18.Cry, scream, yell, curse, laugh... feel
19. Don't worry about what other people think
20. Dance away so many nights I cant remember one from the other
21. Love only those who love me back
22. Be beautiful, fun, and fabulous!
Monday, January 31, 2011
"Fall In Love."
The first day of classes I got the most inspirational advice I think I will get all semester long. My profesora says, "Fall in Love." I think that everyone who knows me will say that I LOVE plenty of people. In fact it is somewhat of a comfort of mine to love people and depend on them and be extremely open with them. It is a security blanket of sorts. So now, here in Spain I will not fall in love with a person. This is not to say that I won't love my host family or friends that I make here. However, it is my goal to not become infatuated with them. Instead I will "fall in love" with something about the culture of Seville. Lord knows there is plenty of it to become obsessed with.
The real question is what will it be? What will give me butterflies in my stomach and make me want more? It could be the stylish Spanish women with their faces all made up and their high heels. Or the long runs through the park where after entering every time I find a new place to sit to watch and listen to the world go by. I cannot understand what they are saying but observing them I imagine what they could be talking about. I could fall in love with the food which would seem like the obvious choice to me. The tapas, paella, cafe con leche, or churros con chocolate. There is a potential for me to fall in love with the discotecas where dancing is actually dancing and not dry humping each other with clothes on. Maybe the siestas and the 7:00pm glass of wine will get me infatuated with the relaxed life style. Will it be the palomas blancas (white doves) all over the city? Or the small classes with teachers who have moved here because of their own infatuation with the city. Maybe I will love the long walks to class when I can delve deeply into my own thoughts about life, who I am, and what I want to become. Will it be Flamenco? or Bull Fighting?
I may fall in love with something that irritates the heck out of me after only a week and a bit. The dog poop on the sidewalk, the loud noises of the city (cars honking, sirens, the bells of the bicycles, the chirping of the cross walks etc etc),or the cat calls of the men on the street who act as if they have never seen a blond haired blue eyed woman (or girl, depending on what you would call me) before.
They say that in Spain people live only for themselves. They are independent and do only what they want to do. Maybe I will fall in love with this concept. Perhaps I will put selflessness on the side burner, maybe stop apologizing for things I haven't done. Go by there example and live for myself. Maybe falling in love with this concept will lead to becoming infatuated with myself. This may sound odd. But think about it if I fall in love with myself perhaps I wont have this incessant need to fall in love with other people. Perhaps life will become much simpler and more straight forward if I think of myself as worth living for.
Only time will tell However, in the end I believe it will be a mixture of all of the above. I will fall in love with the culture, the things I do and do not like now will become things that infatuate me. In the end I will infatuate myself and live a life that is full for myself and for no one else. I will be selfish instead of selfless, determined instead of apologetic, and content instead of constantly worried.
The real question is what will it be? What will give me butterflies in my stomach and make me want more? It could be the stylish Spanish women with their faces all made up and their high heels. Or the long runs through the park where after entering every time I find a new place to sit to watch and listen to the world go by. I cannot understand what they are saying but observing them I imagine what they could be talking about. I could fall in love with the food which would seem like the obvious choice to me. The tapas, paella, cafe con leche, or churros con chocolate. There is a potential for me to fall in love with the discotecas where dancing is actually dancing and not dry humping each other with clothes on. Maybe the siestas and the 7:00pm glass of wine will get me infatuated with the relaxed life style. Will it be the palomas blancas (white doves) all over the city? Or the small classes with teachers who have moved here because of their own infatuation with the city. Maybe I will love the long walks to class when I can delve deeply into my own thoughts about life, who I am, and what I want to become. Will it be Flamenco? or Bull Fighting?
I may fall in love with something that irritates the heck out of me after only a week and a bit. The dog poop on the sidewalk, the loud noises of the city (cars honking, sirens, the bells of the bicycles, the chirping of the cross walks etc etc),or the cat calls of the men on the street who act as if they have never seen a blond haired blue eyed woman (or girl, depending on what you would call me) before.
They say that in Spain people live only for themselves. They are independent and do only what they want to do. Maybe I will fall in love with this concept. Perhaps I will put selflessness on the side burner, maybe stop apologizing for things I haven't done. Go by there example and live for myself. Maybe falling in love with this concept will lead to becoming infatuated with myself. This may sound odd. But think about it if I fall in love with myself perhaps I wont have this incessant need to fall in love with other people. Perhaps life will become much simpler and more straight forward if I think of myself as worth living for.
Only time will tell However, in the end I believe it will be a mixture of all of the above. I will fall in love with the culture, the things I do and do not like now will become things that infatuate me. In the end I will infatuate myself and live a life that is full for myself and for no one else. I will be selfish instead of selfless, determined instead of apologetic, and content instead of constantly worried.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
"Introduction to the Spanish Life Style"
I am Hannah Simmons so we all know that this blog will be all kinds of all over the place. I am by no means a good writer or talented in making things sound interesting so y'all may get a bit bored and if so I advise to just stop reading. Writing a blog is not something that I am really that fond of for myself, mostly because I don't expect people to have the slightest interest in reading about me. I am doing it more for myself. I am a horrible journaler and don't see the point in journalling because its for no one other than me. (I know a little screwy) This way at least in my mind I will think that there are people who want my blog posts (even if absolutely no one is reading the freakin blog) Therefore I am doing something that I thought I would never do: Writing about my life for the public (a little bit scary isn't it!)
On to the experience.It has now been a little over a week since I have been here and I am not gonna go back to the beginning I will highlight. I have a very wonderful host family. Christina and Juan are my host parents. Juanito/a (the name seems to be interchangeable, but he is male) and Paloma (which means dove in espanol!) are Juan and Cristina's hijos (son and daughter). Juanito/a is 16 years old and Paloma is 13 years old. I also have a roommate whose name is Teale and a house mate whose name is Bear. We have already had some good times. I feel pretty lucky with the people that I have around me on an ongoing basis. The family is especially welcoming and loving. I feel accepted already.
Main observations since the beginning: Completely different priorities!! What do I mean? Well the family I am living with is very wealthy. However, you would never guess it. (A Spanish person would be able to notice but someone from America who only knows American standards would never guess it) Although the house is amazing and beautiful it lacks many of the luxuries that American wealthy families may have in their houses. No big screen TVs, no huge mansion, one car to get around in, but nothing fancy, no ice machine in the refrigerator etc. etc. Instead they spend their money on entertaining and traveling and spending time with the loved ones. (Sounds like they have their priorities straight right?!)
Next observation: SO RELAXED IT MAKES ME ANXIOUS! Classes are from Monday to Thursday. The earliest class I have is 10:30. Everyday I have a break for lunch to walk back to my house and eat with my family. And then there is siesta, which at first was very nice because it was something that I definitely took advantage of. However, once I was over jet lag I got restless, so siesta is now the time that I take my run. I know a little backward. But it takes a certain kind of person to be so relaxed all the time. It definitely does not fit my personality so we shall see what happens the coming months. I will either get used to it or go crazy. I am hoping for the latter.
They Party every night it seems! Now lets face it I am not a huge partier. I guess you can say I am uptight when it comes to partying and having a good time. But I say that I just like staying in control of myself. (or maybe just scared of what will happen if I lose control.) I don't necessarily see it as a bad thing. While I have been here in the first week or so I have had a drink or two much more frequently than I would be drinking at school. At school, however, there is this pressure to drink to get drunk and party hard and here there is much less pressure. In fact it would be looked down upon if someone got "hammered" as my roomie puts it so elegantly. So although they know how to have a good time it is a good time that I am not afraid of and am actually taking part in. It is teaching me how to go more with the flow (I think, I mean again its only been a little over a week).
So many old buildings that are beautiful! That says it all. The architecture the colors and the surroundings makes this city absolutely gorgeous. Although I have yet to know much about the city I pass by these buildings and know that they were significant in some way and just wish I knew why. This makes me extremely eager to learn all about Spain and especially Sevilla!! So I will share as I learn what the significance of these buildings are. I know that University of Sevilla used to be a a place where they made tobacco. There is a huge mote around the university and it was dug so that the workers would not run away with tobacco. There is one fact!! ha ha. See I am learning something over in these parts.
FOOD! Okay so I love food and I love eating so everyone should know that food is gonna be the a main point in this here blog. I have yet to have something that I do not like. The highlights are the following: Churros con Chocolate, Cafe con leche, Tortilla de Espana, Paella, rice with lentil soup, fried pork. There are so many different stews and soups that I have had it is hard to keep track. My goal is to go to all pastry shops small and large and try something new. (This is why I am running, because otherwise I would end up hella
SPANISH MEN: I have been here a little over a week and cannot count how many times i have heard "chhhh chhh chhh guapo guapita chhhh chhhh chhh" I just want to turn around and punch them in the face. ha ha. the men here have no problem staring. last night in the bar we had a table right next to a group of men (much older in there fifties) and they stared at me the whole time and started commenting right there. There is no shame. They put it right out there. i want to say to them "I promise you can find a prettier girl than me to hit on" but they don't seem to think so.
CULTURE SHOCK: I was told that there was no way around culture shock that it is very real. The first few days I thought well what the heck I don't feel anything but happy.Now I know what they were talking about. Not that I am unhappy I am just adjusting to all the differences and sometimes it frustrates me. It is definitely there though and I would like to say to most people that it will happen to you in some degree. Part of the challenge is to acclimate to the new culture and live like a local. That is my goal. We shall see if I can accomplish it.
So that is it for now. There isn't anymore. It is 12 o'clock a little early to be going to bed, so I will stay up and watch some Spanish TV or something for a half an hour and then go off into dream land where my dreams have been vivid scenes of home and school and things I am familiar with. Its all very interesting. GOOD NIGHT!
On to the experience.It has now been a little over a week since I have been here and I am not gonna go back to the beginning I will highlight. I have a very wonderful host family. Christina and Juan are my host parents. Juanito/a (the name seems to be interchangeable, but he is male) and Paloma (which means dove in espanol!) are Juan and Cristina's hijos (son and daughter). Juanito/a is 16 years old and Paloma is 13 years old. I also have a roommate whose name is Teale and a house mate whose name is Bear. We have already had some good times. I feel pretty lucky with the people that I have around me on an ongoing basis. The family is especially welcoming and loving. I feel accepted already.
Main observations since the beginning: Completely different priorities!! What do I mean? Well the family I am living with is very wealthy. However, you would never guess it. (A Spanish person would be able to notice but someone from America who only knows American standards would never guess it) Although the house is amazing and beautiful it lacks many of the luxuries that American wealthy families may have in their houses. No big screen TVs, no huge mansion, one car to get around in, but nothing fancy, no ice machine in the refrigerator etc. etc. Instead they spend their money on entertaining and traveling and spending time with the loved ones. (Sounds like they have their priorities straight right?!)
Next observation: SO RELAXED IT MAKES ME ANXIOUS! Classes are from Monday to Thursday. The earliest class I have is 10:30. Everyday I have a break for lunch to walk back to my house and eat with my family. And then there is siesta, which at first was very nice because it was something that I definitely took advantage of. However, once I was over jet lag I got restless, so siesta is now the time that I take my run. I know a little backward. But it takes a certain kind of person to be so relaxed all the time. It definitely does not fit my personality so we shall see what happens the coming months. I will either get used to it or go crazy. I am hoping for the latter.
They Party every night it seems! Now lets face it I am not a huge partier. I guess you can say I am uptight when it comes to partying and having a good time. But I say that I just like staying in control of myself. (or maybe just scared of what will happen if I lose control.) I don't necessarily see it as a bad thing. While I have been here in the first week or so I have had a drink or two much more frequently than I would be drinking at school. At school, however, there is this pressure to drink to get drunk and party hard and here there is much less pressure. In fact it would be looked down upon if someone got "hammered" as my roomie puts it so elegantly. So although they know how to have a good time it is a good time that I am not afraid of and am actually taking part in. It is teaching me how to go more with the flow (I think, I mean again its only been a little over a week).
So many old buildings that are beautiful! That says it all. The architecture the colors and the surroundings makes this city absolutely gorgeous. Although I have yet to know much about the city I pass by these buildings and know that they were significant in some way and just wish I knew why. This makes me extremely eager to learn all about Spain and especially Sevilla!! So I will share as I learn what the significance of these buildings are. I know that University of Sevilla used to be a a place where they made tobacco. There is a huge mote around the university and it was dug so that the workers would not run away with tobacco. There is one fact!! ha ha. See I am learning something over in these parts.
FOOD! Okay so I love food and I love eating so everyone should know that food is gonna be the a main point in this here blog. I have yet to have something that I do not like. The highlights are the following: Churros con Chocolate, Cafe con leche, Tortilla de Espana, Paella, rice with lentil soup, fried pork. There are so many different stews and soups that I have had it is hard to keep track. My goal is to go to all pastry shops small and large and try something new. (This is why I am running, because otherwise I would end up hella
SPANISH MEN: I have been here a little over a week and cannot count how many times i have heard "chhhh chhh chhh guapo guapita chhhh chhhh chhh" I just want to turn around and punch them in the face. ha ha. the men here have no problem staring. last night in the bar we had a table right next to a group of men (much older in there fifties) and they stared at me the whole time and started commenting right there. There is no shame. They put it right out there. i want to say to them "I promise you can find a prettier girl than me to hit on" but they don't seem to think so.
CULTURE SHOCK: I was told that there was no way around culture shock that it is very real. The first few days I thought well what the heck I don't feel anything but happy.Now I know what they were talking about. Not that I am unhappy I am just adjusting to all the differences and sometimes it frustrates me. It is definitely there though and I would like to say to most people that it will happen to you in some degree. Part of the challenge is to acclimate to the new culture and live like a local. That is my goal. We shall see if I can accomplish it.
So that is it for now. There isn't anymore. It is 12 o'clock a little early to be going to bed, so I will stay up and watch some Spanish TV or something for a half an hour and then go off into dream land where my dreams have been vivid scenes of home and school and things I am familiar with. Its all very interesting. GOOD NIGHT!
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